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Can I adopt

CallMeRobb February 13, 2015 12:29
Is there any chance? Even if it's a small one. That I will be able to adopt a baby? I'm a gay single male 21 who still live with his parents. I work 25 hours a week for £770 every 4 weeks. Also If I can, once I'm a dad will I be able to apply for a house on the council? Because I would like to bring up the child on my own and feel like a real parent not with my parents influence. I know this all makes me a very low choice for someone deciding who can adopt their baby, but my love is just a strong.
Edited 17/02/2021
Serrakunda February 13, 2015 12:57
To be honest it's not really the right time for you. Being single and gay are not really issues. But few people adopt at such a young age. There are very few babies available for adoption. SWs will want to see you established in your own home, a bit of life experience. Do you understand where adoptive children come from, their backgrounds of neglect and abuse and the impact this has on them, that many children have conditions like ASD, ADHD, learning difficulties, anxiety issues, mental health problems. You would be far better off getting yourself established in your own home, researching, getting child care experience. I doubt if an agency would consider you at the moment, give yourself five years or so, there's no rush. Love counts for a lot, but it's not enough for most adoptive children
Edited 17/02/2021
CallMeRobb February 13, 2015 13:00
Er - Helen I'm not looking for judgement just facts. Can I or can't I apply.
Edited 17/02/2021
CallMeRobb February 13, 2015 13:01
Thank you -Serrakunda - for your helpful comments
Edited 17/02/2021
@chuckles February 13, 2015 13:08
The assessment process Is tough going. At age 37 I struggled giving examples of life experience to answer certain questions. If you want advice..... You probably have a lot to offer, make sure you are at the right stage in your own life to move forward into adoption. You will then be able to make sure this comes across in assessment and you show your true qualities. The assessment does take into account living arrangements prior to placement of a child. So I'd think it could be a bit tricky living with parents. You would need to show independence.
Edited 17/02/2021
Donatella February 13, 2015 13:12
What everyone else says really. Being single and gay isn't an issue. Being very young - and 21 is still very young - and living with your parents will be a big issue. Clearly this would have a huge impact on them as well. Would they feel happy to have a small child running around? Is there a spare bedroom? There will be an expectation that a child will have his or her own room. You will be expected to be settled and not moving and uprooting a child soon into placement. If they start by living with three of you and then have to move again then that'll be another move, another loss for them. Babies - what do you mean by baby? Babies are very sought after and you would be in competition with lots of other prospective adopters wanting the same. The youngest will generally be at least 6 months old, usually older. And will doubtless have a poor genetic inheritance - do you understand what that means? Do you understand where these children come from? Is your employment stable? How will you look after the child if you are working? Who will pay for and provide childcare? Children are very expensive. How much leave would you take to settle in a child? And then what? Working and being a single parent is hard work. How will you provide for the child - food, toys, clothes, buggies, cots etc all cost. I've a feeling you may well struggle getting someone to consider you right at this moment. Adopted children are extremely challenging to parent - lots of them have - at placement - undiagnosed additional needs - ASD, adhd, fasd etc. How would you cope with that? I think you should read, research, save and find suitable accommodation before even thinking about it. Sorry.
Edited 17/02/2021
janie2 February 13, 2015 13:14
I have to agree with Helen. Our assessment took a very long time, we had to prove we had life experience, were independent, and able to take on a real challenge. It does sound Rob as if you are looking for a way for independent living, and my opinion is that SS would not be interested in you, given your current age/position etc. I think you need to reassess the situation in about 10 years time, a lot can happen in that time.
Edited 17/02/2021
gizzy026 February 13, 2015 14:30
Hi can't comment on age, but I live with my mum and nearly through to approval panel. My LA actually thought it was great that I had live in support so to speak. Yes you would have to seriously consider your parents thoughts if you are at home, have you discussed it with them, or still at fact finding stage? Do you have any children in the family, experience of childcare is most important. Don't rule adoption out, but take a lot of time to consider it. It goes without saying that it's a life changing decision for both you and the child. Good luck on making the right choice.
Edited 17/02/2021

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