Edited 17/02/2021
Adopting a sibling
Suchfun25
February 2, 2018 18:34
Hi, my daughter has been with me for over 6 months now and is doing well although she does have a learning disability so I am aware life will never be straightforward! I have a fantastic support network and this has grown even further since I started the process - I am now in touch with local adopters & a local support group for other children with the same disability. My social worker has just told me another child has been born to the same family and adoption is the plan. It is as yet unclear if this child has any disability. I am not under any obligation or pressure to take this child and indeed my SW says the plan is not to place together, mainly because of my daughterâs needs. However I canât stop thinking about the little girl (she is very close in age to my daughter) and wonder if anyone has experience of this and whether thereâs a chance I could ask to be considered if I decide thatâs what I want to do? I would not go ahead if there is a significant disability as I think this might be too much. I am aware I may not even have the option, but wondered where I stand? I should add that I only have a 2 bedroom flat so the girls would need to share, again would this preclude me? Grateful for any advice. Thanks.
ham
February 2, 2018 19:14
i had 2 siblings placed together i then went on to take on their sister. it took a long time for them to really understand she was there sister. they called her sister but she was a 17month(boys were 3 and 4) who turned up and had no connection what so ever. She lived with birth mum for a while unlike the boys and she was much more damaged then the boys. I regret taking on the sister as she was so much more needy then i was led to believe. birth mum then went on to have 4 other children and there was no way i could have took them all. I do have contact with 3 of them and my children all now adults talk to their siblings as and when they feel like it. so be a realistic .if your daughter already has needs she may well needs to continue to have her own space. you could request contact. With sibling . good luck
Edited 17/02/2021
Suchfun25
February 2, 2018 19:24
Thanks thatâs really helpful. They have already said the girls will have direct contact once the new little girl is placed, and neither have been removed from a traumatic situation, both in care from birth. I am glad re the direct contact but itâs just an ongoing wondering really about if I could take another one... Iâm aware I need to be realistic. Really good to hear from someone with so much experience, thank you.
Edited 17/02/2021
Brian Mcculloch Glasgow
February 6, 2018 11:32
Good luck to you and god bless you.
Edited 17/02/2021
safia
February 6, 2018 13:10
My son was placed 6 mths after my daughter - he was taken into care at birth and she was at 2 mths following a NAI. They were in two separate placements - in separate cities - and had never met. It was always the plan they should be placed together if possible. I think overall it was a good thing - as although they don't particularly get along they have a shared background to some extent. However it was very difficult - my daughter has significant needs and my son less so but the relationship and their different competing needs were very hard to handle. No-one can advise really as it depends so much on what your daughter's needs are - but I think you would be considered - however everyone would want to look at the situation realistically as to what is best for both children.
Edited 17/02/2021
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