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Full Hearts May 30, 2019 22:27

Hi all,

We are second time adopters (hopefully!) due to go to matching panel very soon for another little AD. We have just been told by our Social Worker that the panel will ask us, what we have done proactively, to minimize the impact that the adoption may have on our current AD and what we have done to prepare her. Obviously we have talked and talked and talked about different scenarios that could happen when our soon to be adopted child is placed. (we know it's not going to be smooth sailing!) and we believe that she is fully prepared and eager and excited, in that way. But of course, this is all just words and who knows what the real impact is going to be, but we are expecting the worst and hoping for something in between. However our SW has said that what the Matching Panel will want to know is "what type of therapeutic support and/or counselling we have put in place for our current AD in order to help with the transition from being a family of three to a family of four". ?And also that having a newly adopted child in our family could of course raise up thoughts and feeling about her own adoption.

Our SW has asked us to try to contact some agencies via our local council in order to try to put this in place so that we can go to panel with a plan, so to speak.

So what I wanted to ask other second time adopters is;

- do you have any suggestions or information about "what have you done to prepare your little one or one's for the addition of another adopted child into your family'?

- have you had any proactive professional input to help prepare your child?

- and if so, who from?

- does anyone know of any charities that may offer this type of support for free? Safebase used to do this type of thing but I understand they have now folded!

Thanks in advance all

Edited 17/02/2021

Donatella June 3, 2019 10:46

I’ve adopted three times and never had to do this. Id bat it right back to your sw and suggest she applies to the ASF right now in order to be able to access any required therapy. Maybe some therapeutic lifestory work for your child in order to help her understand her story. ASF funds different types of therapy so maybe google it, read through what they can/can’t support and ask your sw to apply.

Both you and your sw can then inform panel of what you’re planning!

Edited 17/02/2021

Safia June 3, 2019 12:11

That’s a really good idea Donatella! I think you could ask for input for yourselves - parental support - so that would cover any strategies to help with either child - and also anything that may come up for you with introducing a new child. Also don’t forget all the books around for children about a new brother / sister - which you’ve probably got / looked at - but what I mean is don’t forget to mention the obvious! Also to emphasise that you will see how things develop and what issues may come up over time and that you will make sure your older child is adequately supported to deal with anything that comes up - you could research a couple of examples maybe such as sibling groups for those whose sibling has a disability (just as an example of the sort of thing you might mean) Are there any adopter groups locally that meet up from time to time as that can be useful as children grow up - to have other families / children they know who are adopted

Good luck with panel!

Edited 17/02/2021

Full Hearts June 5, 2019 13:35

HI Camelia and Safia,

Thanks so much for your responses. It's really appreciated!

Best wishes to you both.

Edited 17/02/2021

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