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Usually if it’s gone this far, it will go through. We were told in training that birth parents can contest at this hearing, but unless there is anything new that they can bring to court, it’s not going to have an impact at this point. Ours was contested, but they didn’t tell us at the time, I only found out after the hearing.

It is hard to know what 'new' would be enough to convince a court. We hear it is rare but not impossible to reverse things. If the hearing decides it would be best for a our child to be adopted then we will have a good narrative around how the parents tried. This part of the process is a lot more charged with emotions than we expected. Our training did mention this and everyone found it tough to believe you could have a child matched and placed for months or years with the risk that the child will be returned to the birth family.

Hi

BM said she was contesting our adoption. I very worried before the court hearing....Social Worker said not to worry, there was nothing new she could bring... Social worker said that often BPs say they are contesting so that they can say to their child in later life that they tried to stop the adoption every step of the way and that they fought their hardest to prevent the adoption. However, as social Worker said, our BD would not have needed adopting in the first place if BPs had taken on board all the help etc that had been offered. In the event, just as Social Worker predicted, BM did not turn up at court or contest.

It will be fine, you will continue to be a family

x

Our BPs contested too - we just tried not to think about it and get on with life - SWs were very reassuring and the kids had been with us over a year. On the day SS had a whole stream of witnesses lined up but the judge didn’t hear any of them - he said there wasn’t a court in the country that wouldn’t make the order and spent the time explaining this (and why) to the BPs and in the end they gave their agreement which was great to have - and a good use of court time

Various members of the birth family contested our adoption. They even went to the EU court of human rights. Nothing came of it, "only" several delays. It was a very stressful time though and we did worry about what would happen if a judge decided to reverse everything. They were all turned down and when I read the judgement it was very brief and clear cut.

For anything to change by that time, there must have been either huge flaws in procedure or the birth family must have turned their lives around 180 degrees. Both are unlikely.

My advise would be to keep telling yourself that is pretty common procedure, that in the long run it is good for children that their birth family fought for them and that it is incredibly unlikely that anything will change for you.

Everything will be fine.

Thanks everyone. It is massively helpful to hear your stories. @chestnuttree - we were stunned there was the EU court appeal. This must have been really distressing for all involved.

We are hoping that the birth family is getting all the help and care that they need.

Going to keep ourselves really busy!

The EU quickly refused the case. We knew more details about the UK court cases, so we were more worried about them. It was a stressful time and it was one of the very few times we have lied to our children, because the truth would have been too unsettling to them.