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I know, it would be a lot easier if the college just told me what happened.

I'm going to contact the ICO this morning and ask them to contact the college. I'm also going to contact the police again and see if they can get the information from the college.

Rosie,

Whether or not your daughter and/or her friend has/have given this information to the college is completely irrelevant. The issues as far as I can see from what you have posted are as follows:

1. Your daughter is not 18 and therefore cannot legally give her consent to third party information being stored on her file or disclosed on her behalf. Only you as her mother, the person with full legal responsibility, by virtue of the adoption order granted by a court, can give such consent on behalf of your daughter.

2. The college has either obtained directly or come into the possession of third party information which it is not entitled to. It should have destroyed the information when received or your consent obtained to it being included on your daughter's file.

3. The college has deliberately disclosed confidential information about your daughter and yourself to a third party, without your consent. This is not an accidental disclosure - eg an email destined for you being accidentally sent to the BM. The college has on at least three separate occasions deliberately contacted the BM, twice by email and once by telephone and disclosed confidential information.

4. The college is now deliberately and wilfully refusing to disclose the content of the information disclosed resulting in the safety of your family being put at risk.

Contact your MP, IOC and follow up with emails. Also contact the police again and actually consider using 999 - as you have no idea if you are being watched or followed or whether your daughter is at risk of being kidnapped (don't want to frighten you but this could be a reality). The police will need to visit the birth family and warn them to stay away from you.

will post more later - my daughter is at home and needs to use the computer for school . xxx

Also the police will need to do checks on the birth family to see if any of them have any previous convictions for violent offences which would increase the risk factor to your family. xxx

Hi windfalls,

I've emailed my MP today so I'm just waiting for a reply from him.

I've rang the ICO again and they say they will contact the college early next week.

I did the contact the police again this morning and used 999. They came up to see us about an hour later. Ended up on the phone to the SENCO while the police we're here and she finally told me that they got the information from another member of staff who allegedly knows the birth family and the SENCO finally admitted that the college had told birth family our address and our contact details as well!!!! I've asked the police about potentially getting a restraining order to help keep us safe. Also the police have visited birth family today and have warned them to stay away from us. The police confirmed that birth family do have previous convictions for violent offences.

Would it be worth considering moving house now that birth family know where we live?

Also is it worth contacting social services and/or the adoption agency again or is there going to be nothing they can do??

Thank you. xx

OMG Rosie that is just awful. Yes moving house would be a good thing in the circumstances. However I would now instruct your solicitor to sue for damages for breach of confidentiality/privacy. Damages are meant to put you in the position that you would have been in had the breach not occurred and so the college would be liable to pay for you having to move house - cost of the move, conveyancing fees, stamp duty , extra money needed to pay for an equivalent size house in another area, etc. As they have admitted the breach the case would unlikely end up in court - more likely that they would settle out of court and they would pay your legal fees as well (so you would be able to reclaim your costs). Please speak to your solicitor as soon as you can and get more advice on this.

This is such a massive breach it is absolutely unbelievable. Thank god you did call the police - no way would you have got this information without their help. Make sure you get the governors details and email them asap and make complaints against everyone involved. I think there are people who should lose their jobs over this.

re restraining order - what did the police say about this? - not sure if they can get one through the criminal courts as the birth family have not as yet done anything. however, you can obtain a restraining order via the civil courts - again speak to your solicitor about this and also the college will be liable to pay for this as well.

I honestly don't think that the adoption service/social service will be able to do anything - but at the very least they should be made aware of what has happened so that they can note it all on your file.

Rosie I am so sorry this has happened. xx

Hi windfalls,

I will speak with my solicitor about suing for damages for breach of confidentiality/privacy and the cost of moving house.

I will speak with my solicitor on Monday.

I will try and get the governors details and email them asap and make complaints against everyone involved.

The police said they can't get a restraining order through the criminal counts unless birth family actually do something. I'll speak with my solicitor about getting one through the civil courts.

I'll let the adoption agency/social services know so they can note it on our file.

It's going to be a long night tonight as my daughter's now worried and is struggling to go to sleep and saying things like "what if they (birth family) come to us and try to hurt me while I'm asleep" "I don't want them to take me away from you" "what if they hurt us while we're asleep".

I just feel so sorry for her, she shouldn't have to deal with all of this.

How awful! I am so sorry this is happening to you and your daughter. I am very sorry she is so scared now.

At the same time, well done! You didn't let go and finally got some answers.

I agree that some people should loose their job over this and hope you will get compensation. Like windfalls, I would consider moving.

I find it appalling that the SENCO and Vice Head felt it was more important to cover for their collegue than to keep you and your daughter safe. Their behaviour is not just unprofessional but also irresponsible and unethical.

I just feel so sorry for her because of how scared she is.

Think I'm going to be up most of the night if she can't get to sleep.

I am going to consider moving.

That's what made me so annoyed with the college,how they didn't care about mine and my daughter's safety. Also what annoyed me was how on the phone the Deputy Principal was acting all nice and like she was going to deal with this properly and then in the meeting she was the complete opposite!

I think you are showing amazing self-restraint and I hope you find something to help your daughter sleep.

Morning Rosie,

I hope you managed to get some sleep last night, what an awful situation for you all to be put in. The best way to make them pay for what they have done to you and to ensure that they don't do it to someone else is to pursue a civil claim and disciplinary action against all those involved. So you now need to go into evidence gathering mode whilst it is all still fresh in your mind. You need to put together and keep a record/diary of everything that has happened in relation to:

1. The FACTS - keep a record of dates, approx times, names of people involved, details of telephone conversations and emails in chronological order. Any emails that you have sent to/received from the college and IOC, governors (when contacted), MP etc, should be printed out so that you have a hard copy in case anything is accidentally deleted. Also consider saving them all to a memory stick. Full details (as far as you can remember) of what was said in any meetings that you had, were meeting took place and who was involved. Going forward any telephone conversations with anybody involved - make sure you take notes of what is discussed and always follow up with an email. So eg if the senco contacts you by phone and discusses XYZ, email her after the call and say " Dear senco, just to confirm our telephone conversation of today's date when you stated XYZ". Also record in as much detail everything that happened with the police last night and what action they took, and details of your telephone conversation with the Senco.

2. Damages can also be awarded for DISTRESS caused so keep a record/diary of how it has all made you feel - scared/frightened/ for your safety and that of your daughter's from birth family. Also record what happened last night - how it has all affected your daughter- how frightened she was about birth family turning up. Also record how the actions of the college, their refusal to cooperate, has compounded your distress - not knowing what information that had given the birth family and how you were forced to dial 999 because you were so scared for all of your safety.

Keep this diary going and record everything that happens in as much detail as you can. Your solicitor will need it.

When you eventually get in touch with the governors make formal complaints against all persons involved and tell them you want disciplinary action to take place. Not sure if you may need to go to the DFE about this - and disciplinary action may have to wait until the outcome of the court case. Also inform the governors that you want the exclusion removed from your daughter's file. For safety reasons your daughter will now not be able to return to that college. Pursue the IOC also about what action they can take against the college.

One other point to mention to your solicitor is about whether or not the member of staff who knows the birth family has actually taken any photos of your daughter on her phone and passed this on to the birth family. So the birth family may not only have your address, contact details but also an up to date photo of your daughter.

You should change landline/mobile phone numbers immediately. Get receipts for any costs involved and give these to your solicitor as the college will pay for this as well.

When you do move do not leave any forwarding address with your buyers and also don't give your new address to social/adoption services either. The last thing you need is for one of them to give your new address to the birth family (this happened to us not long after we adopted our daughter - luckily we were in the process of moving anyway but I have since completely refused to give our current address to our daughter's placing authority).

take care xx

one other point - if your daughter has any social media accounts these should all be deleted. x

Hi,

Managed to get my daughter to go to sleep but took until nearly 2 in the morning!

Hi windfalls,

I am going to start a dairy of everything that has happened. Also going to speak to my solicitor on Monday morning.

Will print out all of the emails today.

Will record everything that happened last night and how worried my daughter was.

Will try and make formal complaints against everyone involved to the governors.

Will speak to my solicitor about whether or not the member of staff has given birth family photos of my daughter.

Will change phone numbers as soon as possible.

How far should we look into moving? Within the same town or further?

Is it worth pursuing the exclusion appeal now or should I just leave it?

The primary school (mentioned in my previous post 'how do I tell my daughter said this') said they would be able to have my daughter in for voluntary work once she has completed the princess trust course. Would it still be safe for her to do this?

Sorry for all the questions.

Will start the dairy now and record as much detail as I can.

Hi Rosie,

It depends on how bigger town you live in - also where the birth family live - as you don't want to find that you have actually moved nearer to the birth family. Speak to your solicitor about this - he may be able to get this information during the legal proceedings. You could also ask the police who attended last night - they won't give you the exact address but they should be able to give you a general location if you explain that you are now looking to move house and also need to know what locations to avoid going into for your own safety.

re exclusion appeal - get the governors details - either from IOC/LA/MP - and insist as part of your complaint that you want the exclusion removed (don't give them the option of going through the appeal process) - this has been another indication of how the college has completely failed your daughter - failed to give her the necessary support in college and then completely failed in their duty of care towards her by disclosing confidential information to the birth family. Deal with all of this directly with the governors and not the college. If the college contact you about this inform them that all matters concerning the breach of confidentiality and exclusion will now be dealt directly between you, the governors and your solicitors. You could also discuss the exclusion aspect with your solicitor.

re the primary school - depends on where it is located and whether it is in the vicinity of the birth family. If it is not close then I would let her do it but I would drop her off and pick her up each day. Record mileage and keep a record of every expense you now incur because of the actions of the college - claim all of it back against them. If you cannot drop/collect her then get taxi's and keep all receipts. Also consider getting personal alarms and again keep receipts and claim it all back.

keep posting xxxx

Hi windfalls,

We live in quite a big town and birth family live just under 90 minutes away in a different town.

I will ask the governors to remove the exclusion from my daughter's record.

The primary school is just over a 5 minute walk from where we live now! She really wants to go and would get upset if she can't,but would it be safe because of how near it is to where we live now?

In terms of claiming back the cost of fuel/ taxis, who would this be claimed back from? The college? What if she ends up volunteering at the school for months on end? Would I just keep on claiming it all back from the college or stop eventually and just pay it myself?

Rosie, it is difficult to find words to express my thoughts on what has happened. I am pleased some knowledgeable people have given you helpful advice. Having a child who has sleep affected by anxiety I so feel for your daughter. It is awful what she is going through. Just wondered if having CCTV put up would help her. I wonder if you speak with the police again and mention her anxiety if they can do anymore regarding safety.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you will get support to help you and your daughter through this.

Hi Rosie

I would have thought you would be ok to stay in the same town, but you need to decide if moving to a different town would make you feel safer.

re expenses claim - all of this will be included in your claim for costs in your civil action. In terms of who will ultimately pay it, your solicitor will know who to commence proceedings against - whether that be the college and/or governors, or the LA or the DfE .

re school - I think you need to walk her to and from the school. also inform the school about the breach and ask them to keep an extra eye on your daughter. I assume that the school gates will be locked during the day and so no-one will be able to get in. tell the school to report any suspicious activity straight to the police. Sorry can't post more at the moment as my daughter is in the middle of a tantrum.

xx

Bluemetro- I will look into CCTV. I'll speak to the police again and see if they can do anymore regarding safety.

windfalls- I think we will move but stay in the same town.

I'll speak to my solicitor on Monday about the expenses claim.

I will inform the school about the breach and ask if they can keep an extra eye on my daughter. Will also tell them to report any suspicious activity straight to the police.

Thank you so much.

Xx

hope it all goes well Rosie and you get some justice for what has happened to you and your family.xxx

I am also pressing thumbs that things will get much easier now, that you get compensation and will find a nice new home. xx