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Direct Contact with Birth Parents

HopefulAdopter August 28, 2019 19:39

Hi there - I'd be really grateful if anyone could share with me any experiences of direct contact with birth parents.

I'm considering adopting a baby and there is planned yearly direct contact with birth mum. I'm not sure what I think about this. On one hand I can see that it could be really beneficial for all involved. The child would grow up knowing their birth mum, would know that they were wanted but could not be cared for by her and could have their questions about her answered directly, hopefully being good for them long term.

On the other hand I worry that this could be distressing for birth mum, could potentially be quite confusing/upsetting for the child if the meetings were very emotional and could be a continual source of destabilisation in all our lives.

Does anyone have any experiences of this, positive or negative they could share to help me understand the potential benefits/pitfalls better?

Many thanks.

Edited 17/02/2021
Bakergirl August 28, 2019 20:48

There was a thread on this very topic a couple of weeks ago:

https://www.adoptionukforum.org/topic/98954

we have it twice a year and for now it is positive. See the thread for my comments and others.

In Northern Ireland it is a very common to have direct contact but not so much in the rest of the UK. You will find very mixed feelings on the topic here.

Edited 17/02/2021
HopefulAdopter August 28, 2019 22:03

Thanks very much Bakergirl, a really helpful and interesting read.

Edited 17/02/2021
Bop September 2, 2019 13:55

If you can chat, do send me a message as I have useful experience that may help - but I'm not happy to share in public and m no longer an AUK member.

Edited 17/02/2021

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