Nacho
April 27, 2020 15:53
Hi all,
We are finally getting towards a match. On Monday we have our first meeting with our potential boy's social worker and family finder (via skype).
We have a couple of questions, mainly about getting an updated medical as his last was in October when he was 3 months old and how he is progressing but are there any other general questions we should be asking at this point?
I feel like all of our questions are more for the foster carers and can't think of much for the meeting Monday but feel like they are assessing us and will judge me if I don't ask anything!
Thanks in advance x
PaintedLady
April 28, 2020 07:21
We were in the same position a few weeks ago and whenever we were trying to compile questions for the SW, they felt more relevant to the FC.
For us we were very lucky as the SW had been with the LO from the start so was able to answer any questions that may have been more suited to the FC. We found that the majority of questions were based around clarification around the CAR. Bits we needed more information on. The CAR was a little outdated so we wanted to know what was going on lately. Anything that the CAR didn’t answer really. It may be worth compiling a list and then splitting into FC and SW questions. You may find that as you’re talking to the SW they are answering some of the questions you had down for the FC. It may then be that you are able to ask some of the questions you had for FC because they may in fact know more than what first thought. As people keep telling me, there will plenty of time to ask the FC questions during introductions. I hope this helps
Also, they aren’t there to judge you. Clearly they think there is a potential match there anyways. There’s no pressure and no such thing as a silly question. This is about you more than the child. It gives you the chance to clear up any doubts you have or anything you need more information on so you too know the match is good for you. It isn’t a big deal who you ask the questions to, someone is bound to point you in the right direction of someone who may be better equipped to answer or even offer to find out for you and get back to you. I would probably keep the questions like ‘does the LO prefer their toast in squares or triangles’ for the FC.
Donatella
April 28, 2020 10:45
Depending on circumstances, and how much info you already have, ask about pregnancy and care during pregnancy.
Family history - not just bm but maternal and paternal grandparents
Any siblings - how they’re doing
You want to try and get an idea of the bigger picture about bm, bf and what might be ahead for lo, bearing in mind there may well be the possibility of clinical, organic issues such as fasd, adhd, asd. Not everything will be trauma and attachment related. Dig deep.
