I have previously posted about my AS aggressive and violence. He is now 14, physically capable of hurting me. I am very aware that he is stressed and anxious and desperate to see his friends. He also struggles with confidence and completing any school work is a challenge, even though he is bright. I am so stressed trying to get him to do any work and have even resorted to bribery so that he has money for his Xbox. When ever I ask him to settle and do it, with or without my help, I am shouted at, sworn at, the walls are punched, threats are made. I have my own work to do, but would happily drop it and have left it to help him. As a key worker, he is entitled to go into school, and the sheer mention of this bring on hells fury. I need to de-stress as there is no-one to talk to.
isolation and home schooling
safety first, I'd leave the school work. Is there anything at all he will engage with? My son was due sit his GCSEs, does need to maintain learning but is not willing, so I am being 'inventive' - we play scabble and he reads football books - as far as I'm concerned thats English covered.
He won't learn whilst he's hyped up, and its not worth ruining your relationship, If he gets angry, go for your walk.
Did you have any support in place before lockdown ?
I agree - my son was very similar at that age and school refusing - I would completely forget the school work for now - concentrate on your relationship and try and do nice things together however short - short and frequent if possible - although you may hate the Xbox it’s probably his only contact with friends so important to let him use it for that reason. Maybe go for a walk / run or cycle together if you can and watch a film / play a game if you can. He can catch up in time with his learning or even take a different route - he has his whole life to learn - it sounds as if school is a major stressor for him anyway
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