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Hi. I’m not knowledgeable enough to be able to advise appropriately but I do know know that you can’t dissolve an adoption. The children are yours. There are ways to manage what you’re experiencing and there adopters who can help. Hope someone will come along soon to advise.

Sorry I'm not in England so am not sure of the system, but I have been subjected to allegations and its horrendous...as Donatella says you cannot dissolve an adoption, but the children can go back into care and you can parent them from a distance....its different, but far less pressured in many ways as at least your home is your own. I'm not sure how old your children are...there is a group called Potato for parents of adopted teens that can offer really good support and you will find that your situation is sadly not that unusual. ((hugs))

Hi really sorry that you are facing this. We have 2ac, our AD went to live in a therapeutic unit when she was 12. I couldn’t manage the violent rages and a the othe kids any more. We did have a ‘placement support meeting’ with CAMHS, Ss, school our GP. We went for some of it. We explained that after many years of trying to get the right support and Instead getting too little very late. The plan for permanence in adoptive family was no longer viable. That we understand the right path for Blossom would be a therapeutic unit. There was a long of wrangling over this. Our MP got involved and clearly explained the responsibilities of the depts and that they should meet and agree. Or he’d take them through the press under anonymity privilege. This unlock the money to fund her placement Blossom lived in a variety of placements until 17 when things completely fell apart for her and we couldn’t have safe contact with her. We are still living with the repercussions of this (including several false allegations) but because we no longer see/ hear from blossom things are (at least) safer. I believe that there have been several similar cases where ss refuse to take the children into care, in fact all of the adopters I know who have had a child re-entering the care system have had to do this. So maybe look at this list as a rough guide 1) know your legal position. Get copies of stuff in writing. Order ‘the booklet by baaf about disruption (this isn’t disruption btw as you are after adoption order) 2) contact frg.org.uk and look at their stuff online. Consider if you are looking towards s20 or if it’s likely to be full care order. 3) contact Nigel priestly the uk adoption legal centre. 4) make an application for support for you in terms of psychotherapy. You’ll be bereft, relieved, devastated, exhausted and a million other things All the best. Many have been along similar paths and have lived to tell the tale. But it is extremely hard

Hi there. What an awful situation. But like the others have said, you can't dissolve an adoption. Local authorities will only really intervene where they think that the child is at risk and it sounds like they don't believe that's the case. They are generally not that interested in how the parents are getting on - it's all about the children and if they think the children are better off with you than with a foster carer then that's what they are going to support. Also of course it costs a lot of money to take children into care. I think you have to change your mentality here about the whole issue of going back on the adoption - you could potentially get the children removed if they are in danger, but you don't have any rights to just ask for them to be accommodated, no matter how difficult and challenging they are. A lot of people are dealing with very challenging children and not just adopters - parents of children on the autistic spectrum or with severe global delay. I'm not trying to be harsh here but just to put things in perspective as really, the LA sees you as the parents and they should support you but at the end of the day they are your children just like if you gave birth to them and you have to be careful you don't do anything to make it look like you are abandoning them, as I think that's a crime. So, either get them to see your children as being at risk, such huge risk that they need to be removed for their own safety, or continue to see what help is available. Do you know other local adopters? You may find that other people are experiencing similar and can help. Best of luck

Hi I think the list PT provided is a very good starting point. You could also ask for respite care. This may give breathing space. It is so difficult to deal with the emotional pain which traumatised children bring into a family. It seems that you have put time and energy for a long time into trying to get support and understanding. Each person's circumstances is unique. It is so hard to battle a system and also deal with a stressful home life. Wishing you all the best Johanna

We had a breakdown in the adoption. Had 3 kids, oldest sadly we could not meet needs, but 2 we could and had attached. Awful situation - nobody goes into an adoption thinking they will be the ones that that happens too. Sadly it does. We felt that SW didn't believe us at all and that damaged trust. Also LA seemed not interested in working with us for a while, then it changed. Without going into our case (which has ended well for all, but after a long struggle) . So my advice having been though it: Self care - make sure you are looking after you. Get a councillor for you. Get legal advice. It costs, yes but it is worth it. The LA takes you much more seriously when you do. If you can talk to the panel who oversee the LA decisions, do. We found the SWs trying to discourage us from talking to them. Best thing we did was to ignore the SW and talk to the panel. You should get invites to thier reviews. Push to get specialist support from the LA; they can get money from the adoption support fund. But you have to push for it. Push for respite case; we did't get it but I know those who have and it really helps. And, most important... Remember you are not alone. Sadly adoptions break down much more often than we like to admit. You see all the happy ever after stories and it can be hard. It's common. Remember that it is not your fault. Caring for children who have been though awful situations is hard, tiring and does not some intuitively. You didn't create the situation, you're just doing your best to clean up the mess of the kids lives that others have created. Best wishes

Do your children have any diagnosis? If not maybe best to start the road of assessments. How old are they now I wonder? Could you maybe take a nanny who can do the daily care for the children to give you respite?

Hi all, Thanks for the feedback. It’s reassuring that we are not alone. I have followed up on several recommendations as unfortunately the situation has not improved and I don’t expect it will anytime soon. Our new CIN social worker seems to be on board, however I’m not prepared to keep working to their timescale, as some of you will understand it is no way to live. We are bombarded relentlessly with a barrage of abuse which is heatbreaking. Thanks again for all the feedback without your advise and support I had no idea where or who to turn to.

Hi all, Thanks for the feedback. It’s reassuring that we are not alone. I have followed up on several recommendations as unfortunately the situation has not improved and I don’t expect it will anytime soon. Our new CIN social worker seems to be on board, however I’m not prepared to keep working to their timescale, as some of you will understand it is no way to live. We are bombarded relentlessly with a barrage of abuse which is heatbreaking. Thanks again for all the feedback without your advise and support I had no idea where or who to turn to.