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How things can change...fot the better!

Mudlark May 20, 2017 23:43
After reading some really harrowing posts on here, where people are having such tough times and facing some truly horrendous decisions I wanted to post some 'good news' just because there is good news to be had in adoption and there are small steps forward. It reminds me to hang on to those small moments so I can remember them at tougher times. So this evening, as we have now done for the past few weeks, we have sat down as a family round the table and played cards. The children aged 7 and 8 have learned some card games, it is the highlight of their evening. Since playing cards they have even stopped asking to watch TV. But that is not the good news. The good news is that my daughter, who can be highly controlling, anxious and unable to let anyone else take turns let alone win, is now laughing and 9 times out of 10 accepting when she looses. My son, who is also all of the above and has previously gone into shame and melt down when he lost any game, has over the last few weeks seemed to accept loosing with humour and only slight grumpiness! This is amazing as I would have never imagined we could have played a game of cards together. It has taken nearly 4 years for this to happen, for their self esteem to be secure enough to allow them to lose with no shame, for their belief that we love them to be such that they can allow each other to win, or even have their turn with no violence to each other! Such small triumphs of the stuff of adoption and I treasure them!
Edited 17/02/2021
Wizzywoo May 21, 2017 07:26
Oh well done Mudlark. That is so lovely to hear.
Edited 17/02/2021
Milly May 21, 2017 07:45
That is amazing Mudlark. And such a lovely family bonding time. Enjoy!
Edited 17/02/2021
Fruitcake May 21, 2017 15:16
Thanks for sharing such a positive post. My now 29 year old son, who has definitely been my most difficult child to raise, was talking to me recently, reminiscing about some phonics games we used to play, he, his sister and I. He remembered them very fondly and acknowledged how much they had helped him. (He is dyslexic.) You are making great memories with your children and all (or at least the vast majority) of adopters can/should try to do that, even if things are difficult. It will have a lasting effect.
Edited 17/02/2021

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