Hi all,
We are just moving into our second week with our little one who is 9 months old, the first few days were great and he seemed really settled, then out of no where he had a melt down, screaming cry for 45 minutes, this has continued again the next day.
Did any one else experience this with a younger baby? And how long did it take for them to settle in?
We guess it’s all the change has got to him, and he’s missing his foster home, but it’s so upsetting to see him so upset
I know this is really upsetting but I think it’s actually a healthy response. Viewing it this way - as him grieving - rather than a behavioural issue can help with how you deal with it. When my son left his foster carers at 14mths old they were crying by the roadside and he didn’t give them a second look. He had been with them ten months but had spend a lot of time alone in his cot or passed around a large group of extended family and neighbours. He didn’t show any signs of upset once home either. Your son’s grieving indicates a healthy attachment to his carers and this is a good sign for the future. Just do everything you can to comfort him and build your relationships with him and this should help him settle in due course
What Safia says. He’s grieving. He’s lost everything that was familiar and everything he felt comfort from. At that age he obviously won’t be able to verbalise his he feels so the way he’s behaving is his communication.
Keep him close. Wear him in a sling. Co-sleep if you’re comfortable with that. Familiar clothing, perfumes, washing powder, bedding from foster carer? And look after you as well!
He will learn to trust but it may take a while. It took my then 5 month old baby an awfully long time and different babies will feel things differently.
Some years into placement I did an exercise on a training course - list the positives/gains I had from adopting and the losses my children had experienced. It was quite illuminating.
Hang on in there
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