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I would say the sooner the better, you'll get more experience, and will show willing and keenes to your agencyDo you have any friends children you can borrow?

Cool, im hopping they will get back to me. I am volunteering at the end of the month with the National Autistic Society however, that is for young people from the age of 10+. I do have one friend who has a 5 year old son, who i have spent time with but she wont allow anyone to have him without her there. Me and another friend have tried to take him on activities like swimming and giving her a break but she doesnt like it and refuses. Its such as shame as he has never been swimming! Im going to speak to her again and see if she will be happy for me to spend time with him to help my adoption application.

Also, ring up the local volunteers places. If you google your nearest town and the word volunteering Lots come up

Don't get me wrong, she is a amazing mother but really protective of him. She was a single mother up until a year ago so I don't blame her really for wanting to protect him. I think she feels that she feels that if she asks for help or us taking him, she feels like she is using us. I'm not sure

I have been doing that but the majority aren't replying or it's on days when I'm working. So annoying! Roll on winter when I go down to part time hours

Hi HarlequinmazeYes experience with and of children is important but you also need to think about the type of children. Experience of children who may have suffered trauma in their early years will help you to understand how they behave and what strategies are needed for them. It will also help you to consider what you are prepared to take on. I know this is easier said than done.

Ive found some courses online about challenging behaviour so im going to enroll on that though, im not sure where im going to start gaining experience with children with emotional and behavioral issues as a result of their poor treatment and up bringing. What did you do?

I think thats a very difficult thing to do. I volunteered at an inner city school which was extremely diverse. There were a lot of children in the school who were from asylum seeker families, very high divorce/sinle mums, children in the system. I ran a garden club and became aware of the children's background over three years of chatting with them. It just happened to be the school opposite my office so I didnt go there with that in mind, I was volunteering before I started the process, but it did get me a few extra brownie points

I have not applied yet either as like you I'm trying to sort a few things out first, mostly finances and housing. Over the last eighteen months I have been volunteering as an Independent Visitor with Action for Children. This is a type of buddying system funded by the LA for children in long term foster care. It tends to be mostly over 10s who are involved rather than younger children. I have found the experience very insightful and rewarding as well as a lot of fun. I see my young person about once a fortnight. The only downside of it was that it took a while to get going as, as well as enhanced CRB and Social Services checks there were three rounds of interviews - the scariest round was with a panel of teenagers who take part in the programme! Whatever happens next in my adoption journey I am very glad that I have had these experience.

There is so much to sort out before I actually apply, my finances aren't too bad really, I don't get paid a awful lot but I'm sure I'm the same position as everyone else really. Housing is another think too, I technically live in a one bed house but the basement is going to be my room, I just have to paint it. I'm not even sure if they would like that idea. Im applying to everywhere if I can do it around work but not having much luck. I'm starting volunteering at the end of the month for the national autistic society though that's for kids 10 and up but it's still experience

I think the basement room could be an issue to be honest. I think SWs generally want you to be sleeping on the same floor. Its a long way down to a basement for a child and you wouldnt be able to hear them. Simba was nearly 8 when he came home and I wouldnt have wanted him sleeping on anothe floor, let alone a younger child.As you havent applied yet is it worth thinking about moving?

In would love to move but my tenancy agreement doesn't end till April and I can't afford a extra £200 a month on a 2 bed yet. The council won't help me with it. So I'm screwed really. Well I was going to get a baby monitor and baby gates but maybe they won't accept that. It's a shame that I may not get the chance to be a mum.

you aren't going to give up that easily are you? I know when you have made the decision to adopt you just want to get on with it but sometimes you have to wait until you are in a good position to do so. I waited two years to get myself in a better financial position, finish work on my house. I then delayed in the middle of home study so I could move to job with much better salary and terms and conditions. And I am no spring chicken but it was worth the wait because it put me in a much better position to look after SimbaIf you think you could move somewhere more suitable in April why not wait a few months. April isnt that far off. When you eventually get a child home you have to think in terms of a new born and I cant imagine any new parent wanting to sleep two floors away from a new baby

No, im not I don't usually give up that easily. I don't earn a great deal of money, Im the bottom of the food chain at the company i work for. i would love to move but I can't otherwise I won't be able to fully support myself. Then I won't be in a great position. I've wanted to do this since i was in my late teens but when i came serious anout it and was ready, I waited till I sorted out my debt, getting a full time job and nice place in a lovely town which would be a brilliant place to raise childern then waiting again. I'm going to talk to the agency's as find out what there opinion is, I don't want to move and find that i dont get approved or really struggle to live. I know what you mean though its not the best sleeping arrangements and everything It's just frustrating really.

I agree about the basement - my AD is right next door to me, but at times she even sleeps with her head at the wrong end of the bed so that she can see into my room! And this is from a very bright, reasonably settled 6 yr old.Remember if you do decide to try looking for something else, it's not about the amount of space necessarily. My house is a tiny cottage with no outdoor space and SS were quite happy. You don't need to live in a huge house with all the mod cons as long as you can live comfortably!Perhaps a small two bedroom flat would be possible?

HiI have recently signed up to be an occassional helper with the local Beaver Scouts (6-8yrs). It's a none uniform role and you give as much time as you can. I am seeing it as a great opportunity to build links with parents in the local community ready for when my LO comes along, as well as gaining experience with kids.Hope this helps.Good luck!

Hi, I obviously don't know the layout of your flat but I just wondered if you could convert your basement into your living room and your living room into your second bedroom so it is on the same level as bedroom no 1. Obviously I don't know if your basement has been converted!Hope it all works out for you.

Hi, This was my big concern too as I have no young children in my family and no friends with young children. I found some voluntary work for an hour a week with 2-6 year olds, and asked colleagues with young children if they needed a babysitter - one did! I was still concerned that it wouldn't be enough as on the prep course they'd really stressed how essential experience was, but when I was assigned an SW she felt my experience was adequate. Half way through home study now - fingers crossed!Good luck!!!

I think LAs and even SWs within each authority differ in their expectations - I was just looking to move house when I made an initial inquiry, and was told to avoid buying houses where the bedrooms are on different floors. And yet a friend who adopted with the same authority slept on the first floor and the children in attic bedrooms above.Same goes for childcare experience. I wasn't actually asked to get any but decided to so it would get me brownie points, and volunteered at a nursery for a week. I've heard lots of people say on these boards that they have been told to get some experience, and some have even had SWs come out and observe the way they interact with children.I know all the various delays are hugely frustrating when you just want to get on with it.Good luck to all of you are on - or about to get on - the adoption rollercoaster!Papergirl(single mom to two girls aged 12 and 9, placed four years ago).