Hi, I've always wanted to adopt, and mid-thirties I still do and half wish I had done it 4 years ago and not put it off. I have an 8 year old biological son who is desperate for a sibling too!
I have 2 things that have held me back that I'm wondering if anyone could help me with please:
1. My son at the moment has a Dad (separated 6 years ago but we get on well) Albeit not the best Dad but my son sees him often. When I adopt that child won't have a Dad and it breaks my heart to think that on fathers day and just in general they will see their big brother seeing their Dad, giving him cards and presents and they wont have that. If my sons Dad wasn't on the scene then I wouldn't be worried about this as I'd be "Dad" role too. I feel this is just so cruel to that child though denying them a father.
Everyone I say this to says "but you are giving that child a loving home that they don't have now" which would be true but the child may not remember their past - all they will know growing up is their brother has a Dad and they don't.
Does anyone else have experience of this and could advise?
2. I'm a single Mum of 1. I know there's thousands of single parents in the world (I've been one myself for 6 years) but none that I know of that have 2 children - 1 biological and 1 adopted - to know how hard it really is!
I have my parents local that are amazing and I know they'll help now and again but that's it for any help for both children. I like to think I'm a good Mum but I need a reality check of how tough it may be going from 1 to 2, without any help at home and what problems may come along.
Any help or advice greatly appreciated please!
Thank you 😊