My AS was diagnosed with autism a few years ago.
My BD has always struggled in social situations and recently her GP referred her for adult autism assessment.
The outcome is that she has been diagnosed with autism.
I thought I'd be ok with it. My daughter needs support (she lives alone) and the diagnosis should help her get some support. She herself is quite happy with the diagnosis. She's finally got an explanation for her many difficulties.
I'm not ok with it. Frankly I'm devastated. I had no problem with my son having autism - I could blame his genetic make up. But for BOTH my BD & AS to have it makes me feel it's something I did.
No amount of rationalising is helping. I brought them up very differently to each other (there is a big age gap & they only lived together for one year). I adopted a child who I felt I could parent based on my experience - obviously I'd be drawn to a child with autistic behaviour because it's familiar to me etc etc.
But I'm still thinking it's my fault.