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GibsonLover64 September 17, 2021 04:34

Hi everyone,

My question is a little different, hopefully someone can provide any advice that might help.

My adult child who was adopted out has recently made contact. AMAZING time after 21 years.

They are wanting to change their name back to my surname and original first name however the adoptive parents have somehow changed their certificate in a way that Births Deaths and Marriages register cant find they ever existed.

They have given Birth and Death every possible combination of their name but no search finds my child was ever born. This is stopping my child from changing their name to escape that past.

Can anyone provide any advice on how to help? my child has their original birth cert and original adoption cert but none of the details there creates a hit on searches.

Is there any way the adoptive parents could have done something to make this all sealed?

My child is now 21 and yes I'm keeping their sex private to avoid any possible association.

Many thanks,

GibsonLover64 September 17, 2021 04:35

Any Advice would be awesome.

Donatella September 17, 2021 07:40

From a purely practical perspective, you can do a name change via deed poll. You won’t need certificates. Check via .gov website

From an emotional perspective, I would urge the young adult to go and get counselling before making any drastic changes and before rejecting their upbringing by their parents. Regardless of the reason for adoption, adoption is trauma and they will need appropriate support to manage reunion - as will the two other parts of the adoption triad. Unfortunately it’s always like Long Lost Families and is likely to bring up all sorts of difficult emotions, for all parties

GibsonLover64 September 17, 2021 07:43

Thanks Donatella, my child is in therapy and this isn't the place to go into what occurred.

Safia October 8, 2021 07:58

Donatella is right - they don’t need to prove their original name - they just need to go to a solicitor and make a statutory declaration or similar saying what their name is currently and what they want to change it to. The documents they have are sufficient to prove identity. They then need to send copies of the declaration to everyone who needs to know - employer bank landlord etc. Anyone can change their name to anything it does not have to be a name they have previously held.

It’s good they’re already having counselling as it’s recommended if contact with birth parents is made as it can be a very emotional and turbulent time for everyone

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