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I think one or two people here took a friendInteresting idea, I went alone and although as you say it would have been nice to have had someone to mull things over with, I think for me in the long run it was better to go alone.At the end of the day, its me who is doing the adopting, me who has to make the decisions, and its very differnt to having birth children. I have a very dear friend who attended a special course for family and friends and whilst I have confided in her a lot about Simba's background, I can never tell her the whole story. Which means she can never really understand certain things. I dont think I would want her thinking that becuase she did prep group with me that gave her an insight which she doesnt actually have because she doesnt live it. But its a personal thing. If I was going to take someone it would have to be someone who was going to play a big part in our lives though. Its a big commitment for someone.Good luck

I agree with Serra above.I went alone to mine. Was the only single adopter. But everyone for separated. So you wouldn't do the group work together. I think if you involve someone at this level they would have to be someone who would be very involved but you know would settle for not being told the child's full background. I did take a friend to approval panel though.

Hi LolapolaI've just recently finished prep course, I was the only single person with 7 couples. Although I did think it would have been nice to have someone to discuss it with each evening, like the others, the reality is it will ultimately just be me and my child and so I think it was better that I did it on my own.The group were friendly and supportive of me though, and I didn't feel the odd one out, so to speak.Good luck, rapunzel

Before my prep course, this was something I sent ages trying to decide. If I took someone, would they think I wasn't strong enough on my own? If I didn't take someone, would they think I didn't have support?In the end, I decided to just go with what I thought was best for me and my child. My mum came along with me as I decided that having a member of the family with some level of understanding would be best all round. I don't regret it either as adoption is a different world and it was important to me that she recognised this.

My VA suggest single people take someone along. I took a friend to 3 out of the 5 sessions. I was very happy to go on my own but it was seen as a positive that I had a strong support network where people were keen to get fully involved. That was used as evidence in my PAR. I didn't feel any different whether I was on my own or my friend was there although I was the only single person. I'ma fairly confident person anyway. I think you should do whatever feels right for you. Bet you're looking forward to prep. Not long now!

Hi lolapola,I went as a single adopter and although wasn't asked if I wanted to bring a friend, I still think I would have attended by myself. I am actually glad I was not given the choice, as it made it easier to just go along! Could you ask if there is any other single adopter going on the prep course ? I asked my LA quite early on and originally they had said there was 4 on mine, but it transpired there was one. However, even if there was no other single there, it would have been totally fine, as We were only paired in up for a couple of exercises, but for the majority of exercises and group work, all the couples were split and didn't do stuff together. As a group we all got on really well, and I think if I had gone with someone, making those relationships would have been different. And Potentially, most/all of those on the group will be part of your support group throughout your whole journey, and so you won't be alone in terms of discussing things with people who will understand. Enjoy the prep group too .. It's great! ,

Hi Everyone, Thanks for your replies - it's good to get a feel for how other singe adopters have approached the prep group and you've given me some good things to think about. I'm really looking forward to it, and I think I will probably go with my original instinct which is to go on my own. Thanks for all your best wishes, and good luck in your own journeys. Lolapola x

I went alone to mine - it wouldn't have occurred to me to take a friend. tbh, I thanked my lucky stars I was by myself as I saw husbands make statements that made their wives wince, and vice versa. At least I only had one set of expectations and emotions to deal with, not two.

I second with bovary! Some of the things the partners came out with I cringed at and thought about how their partner must feel. Some comments actually caused heated debates that the social workers had to jump in and stop. So yes, maybes alone is best as you don't want to worry what your partner/friend would say! I also noted we were all being watched and notes were being taken. So concentrate on yourself and get stuck in! :-)Enjoy! It is fun!

HiI went with my mum.The SW suggested that I could take someone with me, but mum already told me that she wanted to go if she could.I feel that it was quite benifical to me, so the other person can understand exactly what is involved, what can happen afterwards, what support you may need.My mum has been the best support with me throughout the whole process.I would say to take a friend with you as it is very heavy, and alot to take in, so if you can discuss with someone it is easier.

My VA told me I could bring someone along, I would have been happy to go alone, but in the end I took a friend. I was glad I did, as she remembered an awful lot more about the course after it than I did. I think my friend enjoyed it too!

I was told I could bring someone along and decided not to.On things you had to work as a couple I was usually put with a visiting adopter which was good.It was mentioned at my feedback meeting in a negative way but I told the SW that I was pleased I'd gone alone.I did take a friend to approval panel, which I found very helpful.

For reasons that take too long to explain I ended up going to 2 different prep courses. Like others I was more than happy to go on my own and did on the first course.2nd time around I assumed I would go alone again, however my SC suggested that I could bring my Mum - this was something I wasn't entirely comfortable with but decided it might be a good idea to involve my Mum in the process. She came to 2 out of the 3 sessions, for me it was a little difficult as I felt I couldn't talk freely about how I was raised and its affect on how I plan to raise my child which were part of the group work. Also, when talking to adopters I was the only one who had their Mum their comparing notes about bedtime problems, etc . But on the positive side, it opened my Mum's eyes to how adoptive parenting will be different, and when I do resort to calling on her for support she should have a little understanding of the problems I am having.Either way works, but for me, coming from a family that hasn't done adoption before, knowing that someone out there will be in my corner if the going gets rough is a comforting thought.Enjoy the course, whatever you decide.

Do you think it might be a test ? To see if you need a lot of hand holding also What happens if the person you bring speaks out of turn its one thing haveing to expian yourself about somthing you siad but you will kick ypur self if your haveing to explain on someelses behalf As somone one else has said most of our family and friends dont really know much about adoption or sw apart feom what they have seen in the news and are not really aware of "how to play the game " so to speak sw want to hear very serpicfic things Hence why alot of people fall down during references because loved ones often say things Also some of the more negatives aspects of adoption may leave your friend not wanting to support ypu give a refrance or try and talk you out of your choice

I brought my mum and I was very glad I did, she remember lots of bits that I didn't. We get on incredibly well and she will be assisting with child care, so it was important for her to discover that parenting styles may be different and a understanding of the issues I may face.It was brought up as a positive in my PAR and panel.