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Starting the Adoption Process

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Dijays February 7, 2021 14:24

Hi all,

We've only just commenced our adoption journey and have had our initial interview with our adoption agency.

We'd love to connect with similar gay and lesbian couples or singles, to share the journey with and to be able to support each other along the way.

Would love to hear from anyone else who is just starting their adoption journey too.

Take care,

Dion and Jay

Edited 17/02/2021
Charley and Kylie February 7, 2021 15:26


We are just trying to get started on our adoption journey...! Trying to do as much research as we can, and just joined this forum today. We're based in Nottingham and trying to figure out how to decide on which agency to use. We did have an initial meeting with a SW through the LA last summer, but decided we needed a bit more time before going ahead. We now want to go for it and would love any support and advice!

Where are you based? And how did you decide which agency to go with?

We're hoping to adopt 2 siblings, pre-school age.

Take care

Charley and Kylie

Edited 17/02/2021
Dijays February 7, 2021 16:12

Hi Charley and Kylie,

Great to hear from you. We only joined this forum today too and decided to create a post, so thanks for replying to it.

We are based in Bournemouth and like you researched a lot of agencies and spoke to a few and decided to go an agency called Aspire - so far they have been really great. We've attended an information session with them, which talked about what to expect throughout the various stages of adoption - if you've not attended one of these, we can definitely recommend it. We've also had our first interview with an agency manager - which really was explore our reasons for adoption, an initial getting to know us and what we were considering as adoption, age, gender etc and we are now just awaiting the report from this, along with the paperwork to submit our official application to proceed. We hope to receive at some point this week. Very exciting!

We're also looking to adopt siblings up to the age of four, but depending on the situation with the siblings, we will keep an open mind if it's a year or two for the older sibling.

There is a forum we've also joined today for the LGBT community called New Family Social, however we appear to be having issues with viewing the forums, so will try again tomorrow.

I hope the above helps, do stay in contact and it'd be great to know of any other forums that you have joined that you could recommend.

Take care,

Dion and Jay.

Edited 17/02/2021
Ari&Zach February 8, 2021 15:47

Hey There,

we're at the other end of the journey - fully accepted and at the matching stage now. If we could be of any help to answer any questions you might have, give us a shout.

All the best for you guys,

Ari & Zach

Edited 17/02/2021
Dijays February 9, 2021 14:20

Hey Ari and Zach,

Congratulations, that's amazing news. I bet you're very excited.

Where are you guys based and which agency did you go through? How long did it take to get to the matching many questions :)

Thanks for getting in touch, hope to keep in contact.

All the best with this next stage - hopefully you'll be matched very soon.

Dion and Jay

Edited 17/02/2021
Simon February 9, 2021 16:15

Hi Dion and Jay

Don't forget if you are AUK members, tomorrow night, Matthew and Emma are hosting their monthly nationwide meet up for LGBTQ+ adoptive parents and LGBTQ+ adoptive parents to be.

It's a great meet-up and you are very welcome to come along. Full details in the Family Membership area of the Adoption UK website:

Hopefully see you there!

Simon x

Edited 17/02/2021
Dijays February 10, 2021 09:41

Hey Simon,

Thank you for reaching out to us and sending through the details. We had no idea about this and have reached out to AUK membership and currently waiting for their response. If we miss this month's meet-up for any reason, we will of course look forward to future sessions.

Thanks again.


Edited 17/02/2021
DaveDan612 February 11, 2021 08:53

Hi, just a quick post from me this morning as I'm about to head to a meeting but myself and my husband have just been approved for our 2nd adoption after adopting our 1st son almost 5 years ago. Happy to share any specific experience of the process etc that you may find helpful, just ask.


Edited 17/02/2021
T&P February 12, 2021 13:56

HI Dion & Jay,

My husband and I are just about to start our journey too. We have listened in to 3 information nights already now and are going to go forward with Adopt Thames Valley. We are based near Reading in Berkshire. Just on our second reading material, plus have watched lovely films/tv shows regarding adoption. Like yourselves we are hoping to adopt siblings under the age of 4.

We recently joined the lgbt parents/parents to be night that Simon has reccomended. Its a great way to meet others who are going through or have been through adoption/fostering already. I believe the next one is next month.

Hi to Charley & Kylie and Ari & Zac.

Tyler & Phil

Edited 17/02/2021
Dijays February 14, 2021 11:48

Hi Tyler and Phil,

How exciting for you too starting your journey. Yes, like you we've been watching lovely films and TV shows about adoption, also you can find some good documentaries on YouTube too, we've watched a few on there.

We have tried to join the LGBT parents / parents to be group, but apparently our adoption agency (Aspire) will only provide confirmation once we are further into the process, so unfortunately we will be unable to join this just yet.

Keep in touch and wishing you both the best throughout the process.

Dion and Jay.

Edited 17/02/2021
T&P February 14, 2021 12:04

Hi Dion & Jay,

Regarding lgbt parents zoom event, you don't have to ask your agency. If you sign up to adoption uk website (free) then you go to the events page, look for the next lgbt parents event and ask to join. It's then Matthew and Emma who accept your invite.

Hope that helps 😁

Tyler & Phil

Edited 17/02/2021
Dijays February 22, 2021 15:04

Hi Tyler and Phil,

Thanks for the tips, we'll take a look at the site and see if we can sign-up to the next session. We did try previously, but for some reason we needed our agency to confirm, but will try again.

How are you guys going with the process, have you submitted all of your forms now?

Dion and Jay

T&P February 22, 2021 18:24

Hi Dion & Jay,

Let me know how you get on.

Unfortunately haven't got that far, we've had a bit of delay. We were hoping to go with 1 agency but found out that they're not able to take us on due to us wanting young siblings. They're only looking for adoptees of specific criteria.

So we are going with our second option, which actually seems better as they are both agency and work with local authority.

So we are just about to have our first zoom chat this Thursday.

Best wishes

Tyler & Phil

Dijays February 23, 2021 12:07

Hi Tyler and Phil,

Oh, that's disappointing that you have had to switch agencies, but hopefully things will progress well for you now.

We've now been assigned a social worker, so we are looking forward to our first discussion in the next few weeks with them. We've also signed up to the forum this morning, so look forward to joining the next event in March.

Hope the call goes well on Thursday.

Take care,

Dion and Jay

Pedro February 24, 2021 20:37


Congratulations on starting your adoption journey. There will surely be a few bumps along the way, but it will all be worth it at the end.

We are a gay couple from London in our mid-30’s. We adopted two brothers in 2018, aged 2 and 3 years old at the time. We are now about to adopt their baby sibling. When we adopted the first time it took about 1 year to get approved as prospective adopters (with a break of a couple of months in between stage 1 and 2 and lots of admin issues along the way) and 6 months to finding our sons and them moving in with us - so 1 year and a half in total. Our second adoption to adopt our third son is taking just 4 months.

Always happy to share advice and our experience.

Good luck!

Edited 24/02/2021
Dijays February 25, 2021 08:27

Hi Pedro,

Thank you. That is amazing news and many congratulations again! It must be so exciting for your family.

We cannot wait and totally understand we need to go through the process. We will certainly be in touch should we have any queries on the way. Please feel free to keep us updated with your new addition to your family.

Dave - Many congratulations to you and your husband as well. Thanks for the note and likewise, please feel free to keep us updated with your journey as I am sure everyone who views and posts here would certainly benefit from it!

Much appreciated and take care,

Dion and Jay

Edited 25/02/2021
Jeff S February 25, 2021 11:04


myself and my husband are starting the process too. We are based in Belfast and things seem to run so much slower here than in England. We made our initial enquiry last April and had a Zoom meeting with a social work in May and then due to COVID the preparation courses were put off until January, we just finished them last week and submitted our application. We now have to wait for a social worker to be allocated, which could take 3-6months and then then at least 6 months for the assessments to take place.

it’s really exciting that the process is moving along now though.

we have just been trying to complete a lot of reading.

good luck!

Jeff and Donal

T&P March 4, 2021 11:17

Hi Jeff & Donal,

Wow that does seem such a long wait, well lets hope now we are slowly coming out the other side of COVID, it doesnt take to much longer for you for the next steps.

We had our initial video chat last Thursday and had a email yesterday, explaining that the social worker we spoke to is still waiting to hear back from her boss, before we can move into the stage 1 application side. So she is going to do some chasing for us.

Either way its very exciting still and eager/excited to start the next stage πŸ˜ƒ

Hope all goes well.

Tyler & Phil

T&P March 4, 2021 11:21

Hi Pedro,

Exciting times ahead for you and amazing that you are able to take on their new sibling. Its lovely hearing when parents are able to keep as many siblings together as possible ❀️

Also a massive congrats to Dave πŸ˜ƒ

Tyler & Phil

Simon March 10, 2021 17:01

Just a reminder folks that tonight (10/03/21) at 8pm, Mathew and Emma will be hosting the monthly virtual Adoption UK LGBTQ community meet-up.

The meeting lasts for an hour - all LGBTQ Adoption UK members are very welcome to come along.

Full details on the Family Membership page of the Adoption UK website ("AUK Weekly Online Events")

See you all there.

Take care.

Simon 😍

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