Public Forums

Not all of these questions are relevant for each age group or situation. However, they are a good starting point.

GENERAL

• What do they like?
• What are they like?
• What is their understanding of adoption?
• What work has been done to prepare them for adoption?
• How do they feel about it?
• What are their thoughts and feelings on birth family?
• How are they progressing in FC? How do they feel about animals? How are they at school?
• What are they like with other children?

IF SIBLINGS

• how do they get on together?
• sibling rivalry?attention seeking behaviours?
• one child parenting the other?
• have they been assessed for a trauma bond?

ROUTINE

• Can they dress / undress themselves?
• What boundaries have been set – reward systems / time in / thinking step?
• What is their daily routine?

FOOD

• Are they good or fussy eaters? Overeating?
• Does it take a long time for them to eat a meal?
• What are their favourite foods?
• Is there anything they don’t like?
• Do they have any allergies - food?
• How often do they eat and how much?
• What do they usually drink?
• What food do they usually eat?

BATHTIME

• Do they like being in the bath or is it a stressful time for them?
• Do they like brushing their teeth?
• Do they need help with this?
• Do they like having their hair brushed, washed, dried?
• Hairbrush or comb?
• How do you wash their hair and what with?
• What shampoo and bubble bath do they have?
• When and how often do they have a bath, morning or evening?
• Do you use body lotion on them?

SLEEP

• Do they have problems sleeping if something new has happened?
• Do they have any other comforters either just at night or during the day too?
• Do they need a nightlight on?
• Do they sleep soundly or does the slightest thing wake them?
• How are they sleeping?
• How do you soothe them back to sleep during the night if they wake up?
• How do you deal with nightmares / monsters under the bed?
• s there any music used to help them sleep?
• What is their sleep routine (time, stories, bath etc?)

BEHAVIOUR

• Do they have any (rational or irrational) fears, e.g. flies, spiders, loud noises, water, smells, places, activities, beards, people with glasses, anything unusual?

• Do they have any tantrums and what triggers them?

• How long to they last? Do they react to pain / distress of others / you when they are with you?

• How can you tell when they are angry or scared?

• How can you tell when they are hungry or tired?

• How do they cope with pain, do they have an overly high or low pain threshold?

• How do they show affection?

• Are they cuddly or do they push you away?

• How easily are they calmed?

• How would you describe their behaviour and personality? (Calm, placid, fussy etc)

• If they have any contact with the birth family, how does it affect them? siblings

• Is there any thing that triggers a particular feeling, e.g. anger, happiness, fright, distress?

• Is there anything that especially delights them, gets them excited?

• What do they use to comfort themselves, e.g. blanket / dummy / rag / toy?

• What do you do to comfort them, e.g. cuddle / stroke / hold them in a particular way?

• What is their general outlook on life?

• What is their 'quiet space' / sanctuary?

• What do they understand about their safety, e.g. not playing with matches, knowing how to dial 999

  PRODUCTS

• What perfumes / after shave etc do the FC wear?

• What soap powder / conditioner / tumble dryer additives do you use?

• Which baby products / toiletries do you use?

MEDICAL

• Are there any upcoming appointments?
• Do they go to the dentist regularly and do they like this?
• Do they have any allergies to products, e.g. washing powder, plasters, etc.?
• Do they have any special needs?
• Do they have dry skin / eczema?
• What products do you use?
• Are these over-the-counter or prescription?
• Has there been any grief work done with them?
• Have they had any childhood illnesses, e.g chicken pox, glue ear, stick eyes, etc?
• How much do they weigh?
• What are their heights now?
• What do you do when they are feeling unwell?
• What is planned over the continued review of any medical conditions?
• What was their head circumference at birth and now? These give a good indication of likely future growth.
• When are their next medical / dental / opticians appointments?
• Are they up to date?
• When was their last dental appointment?

DEVELOPMENT

• Do they have any particular talents and attributes?
• How do they compare in development milestones to a typical child of their age?
• How mobile are they?
• What has their physical development been like, e.g. centile charts (WHO)?

EDUCATION

• Can they speak / read / write / draw?
• Can we see any of the things they bring home from school?
• Do they have a best friend at school / nursery?
• Do they have any friends away from nursery/school that they may miss?
• Do they have any specific skills or attributes, e.g. fantastic dancer?
• What was their last report like?

SOCIAL

• Are they used to playing with / having other children around?
• Do they enjoy the company of adults or children more?
• Do they get upset or anxious by strangers?
• Do they have stranger fear?
• Do they lack stranger awareness?
• Do they have difficulty with hugs, eye contact, close proximity?
• Do they like their / others birthday and Christmas and parties?
• Do they play well with friends – are they leaders or followers?
• How are they with new people?
• Which adults are they closest to?

ANIMALS

• Are there any animals they are frightened of?
• Are they used to any pets or animals?
• Did the birth family have pets?
• Do they like cats / dogs / birds / farm animals?
• Do you have pets?
• How do they behave around pets or other people's animals?

ACTIVITIES

• Can and do they swim?
• Do they like dancing and singing?
• Do they like playing in the garden, even on dull days?
• Do they like sports and outdoor activities?
• Do they like travelling in the car – are they good passengers?
• Do they like walking?
• Do they suffer from travel sickness?
• Have they been long distances in a car?
• Have you taken them abroad on holiday? If so, where? (Passport?)
• Have you taken them on holiday in this country? If so, where?
• Is there any particular equipment you take with you when going out with them? Seating arrangements, e.g. at table, in cars, at restaurants What are their favourite indoor / outdoor games?
• What are their favourite places to go?
• What are their favourite smells, e.g. seaside or flowers
• What are their favourite songs?
• What are their hobbies and interests?
• What child seats are in the car?
• What sounds / noises do they like to hear?
• Where do they most like to go? (farm, park, swimming etc)?

CLOTHING

• Are there any clothes that they dislike wearing?
• Are there any clothes they particularly like / favourites?
• Do they have a good range of seasonal clothing to bring with them?
• What are their clothing sizes?
• What clothing do they have?
• What is their shoe size?

TOYS / BOOKS, ETC

• Do they have any favourite toys / books?
• Do they have any music / TV / film favourites?
• Is there a particular theme to the toys / books / TV they like the most?

POSSESSIONS

• Is there anything that they really like that they wont be bringing with them?
• What clothing / toys / bedding / books / CDs / DVDs / photos / documents / other possessions will they be bringing with them?
• Who gave them which possessions, e.g. birth family, other FC, etc?
• Which are significant or most precious and why?

GENERAL

• Are there any photos we could take with us?
• Where are all their legal papers / health records / personal papers / school or nursery reports / old birthday cards / old photos etc?
• Will you be able to provide us with photos during their stay at the FC placement?

FUTURE

• Do they think that there will be a lot of problems when they move on?
• Do they understand about adoption?
• Do they understand about their past and future? If so, how much have they been told?
• Do they understand what has happened to birth mother and father?
• Is there anything that you would like to know about us / need from us?
• What and who do you think they will miss when they move on?
• When can we give them something of ours, item of clothing or a toy for them to get used to?