Hi All,
My partner and I had a lengthy approval process. The standard time for Stage 1 and Stage 2 combined is roughly 6 months. Ours took 12 months due to COVID-19 causing delays, restrictions and problems. Fortunately we were approved last month. However we wondered what the "normal" process should be when showing interest in children and trying to pursue a potential match. We have shown interest in several children, we are looking for a sibling group. Some links were declined very quickly within minutes which can be disheartening. However one profile we went back and forth with the family finder and our social worker for a month. We had read the Carer's Reports (from Foster Carer's) and also both children's CPR's (Child's Permanence Report)
The CPR's alone are very detailed and in depth and totalled 150 pages. Then reading Carer's Reports also. Naturally we thought this was a very positive thing, to be getting so much information so quickly, as did our social worker. We had already sent over our PAR to the family finder. We then spent days reading everything in depth before going back and stating that we were definitely interested in proceeding. The family finder then stated that they felt we had a lot to offer for the children and all seemed very positive. The family finder stated that the children's social worker still needed to read our PAR. After a week and a half of the family finder and children's social worker annual leave and waiting for the children's social worker reading our PAR we got a response stating that they would not be proceeding. We were so excited leading up to this point, we honestly thought this would be a match. We genuinely felt through reading everything and the positive responses from the family finder that this was it.... Possibly a bit naïve.
I am just a bit confused and find that it can be a bit cruel to prospective adopters. I understand that it needs to be the best match for the child. However the children do not read our PAR, the social workers do, therefore there isn't the possibility of the children becoming upset by potential matches. We however read their Carer's Reports and CPR's, so we are the one's who build up a connection and become excited or attached. I think to read so much information on children, which also includes a lot of very personal and confidential information that surely it should be at a later stage of matching, or to at least given an impression you are shortlisted or the pursued match at that time. But to go through all of that, and then have the rug swept from underneath you is difficult and disheartening.
However we have recently shown interest in another sibling group and at present we have forwarded on our PAR and are waiting to hear back, I'm assuming to be shortlisted, before getting any further information (CPR's and Carer's Reports). Surely this is how it should be all of the time. I would expect that Social Worker's would feel that you should be a good match for the children before providing such information. It's just unfair on prospective adopters in my opinion. The process is stressful and emotionally draining enough as it is.
I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced similar situations.
Thank you in advance for your input.