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Daddy questions

Patricia56 April 22, 2021 22:21

Hi, my three year old has started asking where her Daddy is and why hasn't she got one. I do gently mention that I wasn't her tummy mummy but how I chose her to be my special girl every now and again but she's still very little so unsure how much she absorbs.
Don't know how to handle the Daddy question in the context of adoption. She's too bright to accept that I'm both Mummy and Daddy. All advice greatly appreciated and can anyone recommend any books I can get for her (and me) to help? Thanks

Donatella April 23, 2021 08:11

Very quickly before school run - Todd Parr, The Family Book is a good one. Talks about a range of diverse family set ups.

Even as a couple the dad question- in relation to birth family - can be a tricky one without a basic grasp of how babies are made. She does have a birth father so maybe this is a chance to explain where he fits in age appropriate language of course

Safia April 23, 2021 08:58

How about saying you decided to adopt on your own - as people can do that and you were living on your own at that time - and really wanted to be her mum? You can mention that she has a birth mum and dad because both parents are needed to make a baby but that very often children live with one or the other - mum or dad - for different reason (you may have some examples of people she knows you can use) You could also mention the important men in her life - in the assessment they usually ask for male role models- who will be there for many years - but I’d try not to emphasise a particular person (unless they’re in that sort of relationship to you) - including birth dad - in case she gets obsessed or builds up some sort of fantasy around them


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