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Connecting with Others

Chicken2020 May 12, 2020 14:35

My husband and I are in stage 1 of the adoption process and I would be really interested in contacting others that are going through the journey too. I’ve heard the online training may limit the face-to-face networking you would normally have, so if anyone’s interested in connecting, please message me on here. Thanks

Marshmallows2020 May 13, 2020 22:32

Hiya! 👋🏻 My husband and I are in the same boat! Has your online training started yet? We were only advised yesterday that we 'could' be doing online training, we were otherwise due to start the face-to-face training in April and have been waiting to find out what's going to happen, in light of covid19

Edited 13/05/20
AdoptionJourney May 14, 2020 11:12

Hi! My wife and I are just starting stage 1, everything is being done online at the moment. We have also been advised that the training may be online. It would definitely be good to build up a network of others starting their journey!

Mrs_Bakes May 18, 2020 22:03

Hi,

My husband and I found out about 3 weeks ago that we were accepted on to stage one. We are currently working through our workbooks a bit at a time and starting some online training in a couple of weeks.

DigitalAUK May 19, 2020 08:14

Hello! Welcome to the AUK forum - it's great to have you here. Our brilliant regular users will be sure to have a wealth of knowledge to share with you if you have any questions about the process, and past posts can really help you get a good understanding of the journey ahead. We also have a wealth of info on our website and social media channels if you'd like to contact us there. We also have weekly prospective adopter virtual meet ups for AUK members and non- members - https://www.adoptionuk.org/virtual-community-groups-and-webinars-for-members

All the very best for your adoption journey.

Charlotte

Mrs_Bakes May 19, 2020 09:31

Hi Charlotte,

I'm a Charlotte too, great name 😋.

Thanks for the info 🙂

Oreo28 May 20, 2020 07:19

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to join in here too. My girlfriend and I began stage 1 in late Feb (due to have finished stage 1 already but dealing with social worker change).

Our first workshop was early March so we were fortunate enough to attend the group. Wish we’d swapped numbers with other couples then but I guess we assumed we’d see them again in April!

We did our second workshop in the form of a usb sent out to us, then Skype with a social worker. Not networking at all unfortunately so am really glad to have joined these forums.

Weve done all our paperwork. I found the financial form the hardest! Anyone else struggled with predicting what future incomings/outgoings will be?

Mrs_Bakes May 20, 2020 10:34

Hi Oreo28,

Ours has all been online too. We have some preparation training in a couple of weeks which will be online. We will meet other adopters then but like you I have joined this forum to network.

We haven't had a financial form yet. We have a review at the beginning of June so perhaps we will get it then? I am a bit concerned about this too. Have you looked into your benefit entitlement?

The workbook seems never ending and some of the questions are so hard to answer. I'm finding it emotional at times too because it's so deep and makes you think of things in ways you never normally would.

DigitalAUK May 20, 2020 11:07

Hi Both,

Our next prospective adopter virtual meet up is next Wednesday 27th May (how did it get to that date so quickly!?!?!) at 11:30am. It's for AUK members and non-members so please do feel free to sign up. It's a great way of connecting with other prospective adopters and talking about your own journey and any worries you may have. We have an AUK team member hosting too, so they are usually able to help with any questions you may have or take your questions and point you in the direction of those that can help. You can find out more here; https://www.adoptionuk.org/virtual-community-groups-and-webinars-for-members

It would be great to have you join us if you can.

Best wishes for your continuing journeys

Charlotte

😊💛

Mrs_Bakes May 20, 2020 11:08

Thanks 👍🏻

Oreo28 May 20, 2020 18:30

Hey Charlotte,

Thanks for that, it’s really helpful!

Mrs Bakes, the joys of the online!

How are you finding things so far?

Dont worry too much yet about the form as I don’t actually think (May be wrong) that it’s always part of Stage 1...? Many things I’ve read it’s in stage 2.

Our SW got us to do all our paperwork for stage 1; chronology, family tree, finance form and all the others. Definitely got you thinking about all your experiences, it went deeper than I expected!

Our SW said it’ll make it easier for stage 2 to do the homework now so maybe we are doing things backwards.

weve has a look at benefits, I think we would just get child benefits. Although we’ve done our finance predictions for the form (loose predictions) I’m currently helping my work re-do their leave policies so hopefully I can convince them to pay me more while on leave 😁

Mrs_Bakes May 21, 2020 09:51

Hi Oreo,

Finding it ok at the moment, I'm a little nervous as it feels more real now. But also glad the wheels are in motion.

Its been a long journey for us so far. We went down the IVF route first and that didn't work out. We actually should be parents right about now but sadly had an early miscarriage in October. Our IVF journey came to an abrupt end earlier this year so adoption was our only other option. Hopefully we will be able to give a child/some children a lovely, happy forever home. We are obviously meant to become parents to a child in need rather than pass our genes on 😂.

We haven't got a social worker yet, we are with Barnados and they said they don't allocate one until stage one is complete.

We haven't done a family tree or anything yet but I'm sure it will be done in due course.

We did our registration of interest and when that was accepted we had several forms to fill out. We returned them the next day and just been doing the never ending workbook since.

We haven't looked at benefits yet but will do soon.

We don't know anyone who has adopted so I think we feel a bit alone at the moment.

How are you finding it all?

Eastwood May 21, 2020 11:48

Hi there, I'm in stage one too. I wondered has anyone heard anything about virtual training?

Eastwood May 21, 2020 11:49

Hi there,

If there are any prospective adopters in stage one at the moment, particularly anyone in the South East - Kent, Medway, Bexley. Would be great to chat about experiences. x

Mrs_Bakes May 21, 2020 13:39

Hi Eastwood,

We are in South Derbyshire unfortunately but we have virtual training in a couple of weeks. It's 4 days in total, 2 days a week for 2 weeks.

Oreo28 May 22, 2020 19:20

Eastwood, sorry to say we’re also nowhere near you! We are in south Nottinghamshire.

Mrs Bakes, what a journey you guys have been on. I’m really sorry to hear of the miscarriage you guys experienced, I can’t imagine how devastating that must’ve been.

Hopefully though this will lead to becoming a family and feeling that it was meant to be this way :)

We’ve found the process okay so far, it’s exciting. I think not having others to talk to about it, or ask other questions to makes it a little harder. I think my girlfriend gets sick of me constantly bringing this up in conversation!

Mrs_Bakes May 22, 2020 22:51

Thanks for the kind words Oreo. It was horrendous and we felt robbed.

But it's in the past now and as you say this is hopefully the way it's supposed to be. Hopefully the void in our live's will be filled soon.

Glad you have the process ok so far. We have too, and just trying to take things as they come.

Which agency are you with?

Edited 22/05/20
Marshmallows2020 May 23, 2020 12:58

Hi all 👋🏻

@Oreo28 - Is there an actual finance form or are you referring to the financial question in the workbook?

Rightly or wrongly I just kept it brief - incoming /outgoings / what the surplus currently goes on and what the surplus would go on (basically switching couple activities for family activities) and that a potential option would be to remortgage and extend the loan period to reduce the payments.

But I kept the whole thing hypothetical as it would depend on how many kids/ what age/ their needs/ what deal I could get from work etc.

I didn't sweat it too much. I don't know if that helps?

@Eastwood not local to you, I am afraid, but we're hoping to still network during the training, as it is interactive and there are going to be 6 couples online at the same time for ours 😊

Our training is the week after next. We signed up in December so by the looks of you guys' progress, I'd say it's been slow going for us. But we're excited about the training 😬 can't wait to get cracking. It's only 3 x 2.5 hour slots but my husband has booked three whole days off work cos he's that excited 😂

Mrs_Bakes May 23, 2020 13:15

@Marshmellows our training is week after next too. It's on 1st, 3rd, 8th and 10th June. So we might be doing the same one?

Are you with Barnados?

Marshmallows2020 May 23, 2020 13:59

@Mrs_Bakes sadly not. Ours is with our local authority. Hope you enjoy yours! 😃

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