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Calling time on our journey

Just not good enough February 13, 2020 22:47


We had our meeting with our social worker last night. We told her we were withdrawing from our adoption process. We cried ourselves to sleep and now we are left with heavy broken hearts.

We now have to go back to panel to be deregistered or send a statement/ report.

Thank you for your support and advice.

A big apology to all the children that are still waiting for your forever family as we weren't good enough to be a match for any of you.

This will probably be the last post as we won't have access to linkmaker for much longer.

Yours 💔 want to be a family

Edited 13/02/20
Jingle bells February 14, 2020 16:49


don’t go quietly!

if I was in your position

Even though you have had a meeting and discussed giving up, i would now put it in writing to my social worker confirming that I am heartbroken to have made the decision to give up, but as your adoption team/ family finding team don’t deem me suitable for any matches in the past ? years, You are disappointed that no one has given you feedback on to why you are not suitable,

in your letter state your worker has advised that you ask for an appointment To return to panel to be deregistered. State that you want a panel at the earliest panel.

attend the panel, they approved you , let them know personally how you’ve been treated.

Questions need to be asked, and I bet people in senior positions will not know that you have been available but nothing has been forthcoming.

I would copy into the email .....

The senior of the adoption team, the senior of children services, the chief executive of your council and the chair person of you panel,

and anyone else in the managerial tier that is relevant to children services.

it sounds like you have made up your mind and need closure in order to move your life forward,

good luck!

Just not good enough February 14, 2020 20:54

Thank you jingle bells. This is most helpful. Panel is in April and as much as hubby doest want to go I do as I want to let them know exactly how we feel.

Regard L

Jingle bells February 14, 2020 21:21

for your panel.....

Prepare a chronological log of everything if you have kept a diary.

Start with your approval panel

then adm decision

State that there was a whole year whereby no one from SW contacted you

State dates and children initials you have actively enquired about

state feedback for your unsuitability. Did you make changes because of feedback, if so state what changes you made

list dates when you have had home visits. I suspect they are few and far between

Include any crucial conversations with your SW

in my LA, any paperwork has to be submitted to panel in advance of 10 working days , check yours. Submit your paperwork direct to the panel. Ideally via chair person email, Do not give it to SW to submit it for you as it will probably get lost also it will give them the heads up and they can amend their paperwork .

persuade your husband to attend panel, panel might choose not to de register you, and put recommendations in that SW will be accountable too

Edited 14/02/20
Just not good enough February 14, 2020 22:08

Again thank you jingle bells.

I’ve gone through the list of children we have shown interest in and written down briefly the replies. The home visits is an easy task - it’s one.

I’ll check when paperwork needs to be submitted and get the email for chair person

hopefully I’ll be strong on the day and that my tears will have dried up by then.

Regards L


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