July 18, 2019 12:23
Two brand new books out today relating to adoption/fostering which I thought might be good to list here, as well as your own favourites, so please do leave the good ones you would recommend with the style of book they are (real life/psychological/therapeutic etc etc) for others to feel informed!
Sally Donovan - The Unofficial Guide to therapeutic parenting - Teenage Years.
I have read it, and have to say I read it reflectively for the most part... I didn't disagree with any of it, and it was very easy to read with top tips paragraphs, lots of "you are doing this well, but it's hard" - and was able to put it down without a book marker, but pick it up and open up to something else very interesting. Defo a must read!
Joanne Alper - Supporting Birth Parents whos children have been adopted
Again, I have read this (and written a review - eek!). This is a look at adoption from the angel of the birth parents, HOWEVER, I felt it was extremely useful and informative. Stories from therapists who work so hard to engage with Birth Parents - over long periods of time. It really made me think long and hard about the the massive amount of reasons that children will go through the adoption process. A real eye opener, and I have to say the case studies were the thing that kept me hooked in to read it.
Leave your favourite reads and a brief view of the style of read below!
July 18, 2019 17:20
I’ve read a lot on the subject over the past 3 years but there are 2 books I constantly come back to:
1) The Unofficial Guide to Adoptive Parenting by the frankly amazing Sally Donovan. It’s full of brilliant practical advice and empathetic home truths
2) Parenting a Child with Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties by Dan Hughes. More academic than Sally Donovan but still really good to understand PACE.
For those of you looking for something for your relatives we also found ‘Related by Adoption’ by Hedi Argent a relatively short book and useful read for our family before they met our little ones.
July 19, 2019 09:34
Aw, Moo, our social worker gave us a copy of 'A Blessing from Above' when I adopted my first! She was awesome - lovely memories.
I tend to steer clear of parenting advice books of all kinds because too often they seem to present the parent as a robot who can just keep on keeping on without ever making a mistake or needing a minute to themselves, and tend to give the impression that if their amazing technique isn't working it's because you aren't trying hard enough! Abandoned all books on potty training and weaning because of this!
BUT Sally Donovan's books really break the mould on this - she's really down to earth, and acknowledges that it's hard and sometimes we fail and mess it up. She also shows how the 'ideal' worked out in reality and explains how she modified or abandoned the advice depending on her family's situation. It's refreshing.
Not adoption-specific but 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk' is also an interesting read and gave me a few techniques to try.