We have a new (for just 3 months) adoptive 7 year old grandson and we are struggling to know where to set the boundaries. For example - two instances yesterday.
1. He picked up a handful of sand and was asked to put it down before entering the house. He ignored the request and threw it at the (closed) front door. The adoptive father chose to ignore it as he said it was designed to provoke a reaction and, when no reaction came, the incident was over.
2. At the dinner table, he picked up a toy and was asked to put it away whilst we were eating. Again he ignored the request and carried on playing. From the look in his face, he knew he was being defiant, and smiled when he could see he was 'getting away with it'.
Our daughter and son-in-law are trying very hard to adopt 'theraputic parenting' and the whole concept is taking some time for us to get our heads around.
As grandparents, we could understand the fathers reaction to the first instance, but the look of defiance for the second incident, suggested to us that stronger action should have been taken.
We are new to the concept of 'theraputic parenting' so would appreciate any comments and suggestions.