Ive been thinking of adoption for quite some years on and off now but only recently started seriously looking into it. After reading every single post in the single adopters section and the difficult times section of the archive, I have come to ask myself why would I do it?
yes I want to be a mum, yes I want a small family unit (me + AC), yes I want to give a child a good life. Yes I have my things in order - support network (which I understand will likely disappear), finances/savings/no debt etc.
however, after reading all the difficulties I am stuck on the question as to whether I choose to live my life alone, or whether I risk serious future issues (what if child wrecks house, which I part rent so neighbours could complain about screaming tantrum child, what if I really would not be able to ever return to work even part time - I’d lose home, what if child is so disturbed that sooner or later it gets expelled, becomes a juvenile, is abused by (their) future partner, self harming or addictions - to name a few of the things people have experienced).
I really really want to adopt. Despite all I’ve read. Now I’m worried there’s something wrong with me for still wanting to do this - I’ve actually booked a therapist to discuss my motivations. If any of my friends would say that they would take a risk of happiness which could destroy everything they’ve build including their own health and sanity, I would ask them why? Why would you do it?
Ive wanted this for so long and now I find myself confused. EEK!