Just want to check how the land lies here... our AD has been with us 8 years and has always blamed herself that if she was any good as a person her Birth Mum would have looked after her. (drugs and alcohol and domestic violence - the BM not our AD) BM has never written or made contact with AS since she was removed from the home. AS has frequently said that even though she can remember some very scary and horrible incidents of violence and cruelty she 'should be with my Mum like other children are'.
AD is generally a happy child but this feeling that she is a failure as her BM didn't take care of her has always remained strong.
AD has recently found out that BM has had another baby and this time is keeping the baby as she is now 'in a much better place', Both her and the new baby are doing 'very well'. We were told that we should share this info with AD and have done and it has totally floored AD. Behavior has totally gone to pot as she is in bits! She now just wants to go back and live with BM and baby and is getting very angry with us that she has to stay with us. BM is apparently keen to rebuild their relationship and is going to write and explain it all to AD but we have not received anything yet.
I am writing this as I wonder what our options are. We love AS deeply and keeping her hear against her will is going to be hell for everyone and seems cruel... however knowing what BM was like in the past, my feeling is that I don't want to let her with a million miles of BM!! Has anyone ever been in this situation ..I wonder how you handled this???
Any responses greatfully received