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How adopted child should address to dad''s

Boogieboy April 18, 2013 10:37

We have been matched with a Little Girl and we had decided that we would be called Daddy & Dad<BR>when we told our social worker she said that it would be too confusing for the child and that we should both be Daddy+(name)<BR>I was always brought up not to use first names with my parents and grandparents so don''t really want to go with this.<BR><BR>Has anyone else had this response from their social worker or how has other people got on<BR><BR>Daddy & Dad to be

Imp April 18, 2013 10:57

Haven't yet moved a child on to two Dads, but have twice moved them on to two Mums. In both cases they were to be called Mum and Mummy. I rather think that to add your first names somehow diminishes your status as parent, but that is just my opinion.

Boogieboy April 18, 2013 11:33

Many thanks Imp for your response<BR><BR>Do i take it your a social worker?<BR><BR>that was my feelings on it so i think we will go with the Daddy & Dad<img src='http://www.adoptionuk.org/idealbb/images/smilies/12.gif'>

Imp April 18, 2013 11:42

Hi Boogieboy. I'm a FC (of many years) who specialises in moving LOs on to adoption. Best wishes to you both for your new family

Curiousity April 18, 2013 11:57

Hi - Congratulations!<BR><BR>We met up recently with friends of friends who have adopted three siblings.<BR><BR>They have called themselves Daddy & Dad - 6 months in its going really well (they're little one is only 3 but he's completely happy with it).<BR><BR>Apparently kids immediately told them 'you're Daddy and you're Dad' because the foster carers had prepared them.<BR><BR>They were told that using names wasn't helpful as kids have to relearn - and also because that makes them different from their peers if they have to shout 'daddy steve' in the playground.<BR><BR>I reckon this is the start of you guys trusting yourselves to make the right decision for your little ones.<BR><BR>Good luck with it all!<BR><BR>C

Boogieboy April 18, 2013 12:12

Many thanks for the reply's<BR><BR>Its so nice to think that what we had originally decided was the right way to go, we want our little one to be just like other kids in as much as is possible with having 2 dad's so Daddy & Dad it is<BR><BR><BR><img src='http://www.adoptionuk.org/idealbb/images/smilies/1.gif'>

jmk April 18, 2013 17:14

I think that expecting a child to say Daddy X and Dad Y is ridiculous and very confusing as a lot of kids in FC already call FC Mummy Z and then of course you have Birth Mum A and Birth Father B, too many names for a LO to contend with. <img src='http://www.adoptionuk.org/idealbb/images/smilies/6.gif'><BR><BR>Go with your own idea. Once LO is home with you, you do what you want and your SW can like it or lump it, she will be your daughter and will have a Dad and a Daddy. Lots of kids do these days with step families etc.

bovary April 18, 2013 17:37

Hear hear! If your LO has a birth dad, she may well call him Daddy X, so for you call yourselves Daddy Y and Daddy Z would imply you have the same status as birth dad, so that is just not helpful.<BR><BR>You do also have to bear in mind family traditions in relation to this stuff. My DS calls my dad Dad, which sounds really confusing and unhelpful, but given that all the grandkids call him Dad makes perfect sense!!! And he has never once thought my Dad was his dad, IYSWIM!

daddyrules April 18, 2013 19:51

Hello,<BR>We have 3 boys, I am Daddy and my partner is Dad!<BR>It works well for us.<BR>Sometimes I answer to Dad and vice versa. In time we may well both be Dad but that's up to the kids!<BR>Good luck

hubelly April 21, 2013 16:59

Hi<BR>Were Daddy and Da<BR>Very similar to Daddy and Dad but with the celtic connection.Works great with our two as to other kids we are just A and Bs Daddy and Da!<BR>Good luck with your choice but please dont call yourselves Daddie x and dad y!!!!!<BR><BR>Regards Hubelly

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