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How truly awful Rosie! At least she is safe - but really hope she (and you) get some proper therapeutic help! Hope people really listen to what she is saying and don’t just judge her superficially on her actions (assumed or otherwise) and that you manage to keep toxic people away from her

Hi Safia, thank you. I hope we get some proper therapeutic help as well! We're still in hospital in intensive care unfortunately!

My husband still doesn't believe her, i believe her!

I am so sorry, Rosie! You haven't failed. You have been fighting like mad for a very long time now and the school has kept making life incredibly hard for you. I am so sorry it came to this! I hope you daughter will get better soon and that you all get help.

Rosie,

I am so sorry this has happened. You have not failed her at all. You have been an incredible mum to her so please don't think badly of yourself. Hope she recovers and that you all get the help that you need.

Sending hugs and prayers. Xxx

Hi Rosie,

We are so sorry to hear of this - as the forum folk above have said, you have not failed as a Mum at all. We have passed your message on to our helpline team who are happy to talk to you and help in any way they can. Their number is 0300 666 0006. In the meantime, please also reach out to us via email and we will endeavour to help.

Sending you all our best wishes,
Charlotte

Hi Rosie, I hope your daughter is a bit better. xx

How are things going Rosie? How is your daughter? How are you?

Thank you all for your kind messages.

She was discharged from hospital yesterday. My husband was at work today. When he got home at about 4pm he just started started shouting and screaming at me and my daughter and accusing her of attempting suicide just for attention. I've never been scared of him before because he's not been like this before. Both me and my daughter got terrified when he started making threats so i called the police. He's ended up in police custody tonight. So it's just me and my daughter here. I feel very sorry for my daughter because she said to me when the police left "i used to love him but now i'm horrified at how he's changed."

This is just so hard!

Hi Rosie, I am so glad your daughter was discharged! That's great news.

However, the situation with your husband sounds very worrying. It just doesn't end, does it? Why is he so upset? Could you focus your attention on getting post-adoption support to provide yourself and your husband with therapy via the ASF on top of what will hopefully now be provided for your daughter? Maybe something based on mentalisation? You all need much more support.

So glad your daughter is ok. I think you and your husband need some time apart - you both need space to decide the best way forward. Is there somewhere he can stay for a couple of weeks? You have all been under incredible pressure and stress over the last couple of months but that does not excuse his behaviour.

I think it is time you put your needs first and decide what is best for you and that might mean a future with just you and your daughter. You should not be made to feel unsafe and scared in your own home.

Sending hugs Rosie and keep posting. We are all here for you. Xxx

Dear Rosie - I think Windfalls is right. I’m not sure whether you are referring to your current partner or her Dad - I had always assumed you meant her Dad when you were describing these toxic reactions and that because you lived apart it would be easier to create distance and protect your daughter from them. If it is your current partner then that makes it harder - but given what’s just happened to your daughter it’s really important you put her needs first - it is a safety issue now and she needs to be protected from these toxic comments and judgements. I really hope you are able to get intensive help now - for him too if he’ll engage - but especially for you and your daughter