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Struggling with nursery

Cat November 28, 2022 10:43

My 4 year old has been attending the pre- school school at his brother’s school for nearly a year now.

He took some time to settle initially- not wanting to separate but fine once he was in and I was gone. Once that initial period was over though, he has enjoyed pre school, has plenty of friends and gets on with the staff there. He returned fine after the summer break but since half term, he has been reluctant to go in. He is perfectly happy and playful right up to the point of going in and then he will just stop and refuse. I have gone back to helping him hang up his coat, bag etc and if there is a member of staff there immediately who can chat etc, then I can leave and he will go in ( albeit reluctantly) however, on days when that doesn’t work, I can’t get him to go in and the longer we wait, watching the other children go in, the harder it is to pass him over.

His behaviour is also starting to cause concern within nursery ( starting to resemble angry outbursts we have at home) and we are looking into support for this. School are being very supportive and we are awaiting a post adoption assessment from his local authority.

The other side of this is that on the occasional day when dad takes him to nursery, there are no problems at all. He says goodbye, walks straight in and there’s no drama.

i Appreciate that this is part of a bigger issue with behaviour ( also sleep) etc but while we’re waiting for support to help work out what is behind all of this, does anyone have any advice on the best approach to helping with re settling into nursery? Continue with the routine he’s used to? Go into nursery and stay? Send him for shorter amounts of time? ( he only goes for the mornings). I know different children need different solutions but any advice/ ideas will be gratefully received!

Safia November 30, 2022 19:30

I think the best thing to do would be to discuss the situation with the nursery. My feeling would be that if they set up a regular arrangement for his arrival - such as the same person meeting him and greeting him and taking him in confidently - that would help. Does he have a key worker? When my daughter was in year 2 she found it a real struggle to go in. The class teacher was of the view that no accommodation should be made as she was “old enough” to go in by herself. One of the classroom assistants in another class took it upon herself to come and greet her and take her in by hand when the bell went. I didn’t know at the time but this person had adopted children of her own so understood what was needed. I think you’re right - concentrate on getting him in happily at this point and deal with the other issues in good time. He seems to enjoy nursery so just needs this extra confidence booster


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