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Family finding advice please!

Sherman March 2, 2021 09:01

My partner and I were approved three months ago and are hoping to adopt on the traditional route and not EPP. We've been sent a few profiles of children we would have liked but that were ultimately placed with different families (we're totally understanding of this) there's currently a child on linkmaker we really really like and have registered our interest through our social worker. However for various reasons, including the pandemic and social workers work pattern it's taking weeks for us to hear anything back. Is this normal or do we think we've missed out on this child too? Our social worker is on leave this week so we won't hear anything at all for another week. We decided we'd like to go for this child almost a month ago and we've hardly heard anything at all, is that normal?

3cats March 2, 2021 11:49

We are in the same position - approved in October last year and we were given full access to LinkMaker in January. One profile stood out to us and we expressed interest mid-January. We didn't hear anything at all and our social worker chased last week with the intention of closing the discussion as we assumed they weren't interested but the social worker came back straight away to ask for our PAR and we are now expecting the child's CPR to be sent over today so there is still hope as we are now 6 weeks since we expressed an interest. I would definitely ask your social worker to chase when she's back from leave.

Sherman March 3, 2021 10:34

Thanks 3cats. I check linkmaker every day and this particular child's profile is still there so I guess that's a good thing. It's just all a bit frustrating. The other two children we were interested in we waited for months till we heard anything back and it definitely seemed like they'd already picked another family a while ago and just forgot to tell us, so I'm starting to feel like maybe the same thing has happened again with this one and giving up hope.

Sherman March 3, 2021 10:35

Thanks 3cats. I check linkmaker every day and this particular child's profile is still there so I guess that's a good thing. It's just all a bit frustrating. The other two children we were interested in we waited for months till we heard anything back and it definitely seemed like they'd already picked another family a while ago and just forgot to tell us, so I'm starting to feel like maybe the same thing has happened again with this one and giving up hope.

3cats March 4, 2021 14:27

Sherman, it's a very frustrating process! I know social workers are really busy but I think it only takes a few minutes to write a quick message to let you know one way or the other. Don't give up hope

Schulz020917 March 11, 2021 08:03

Hi Sherman,

I when we first started and were only trying to make links within our LA we were getting responses quite quickly and I would assume hat was because my SW knew all the family finders and would chase it. But since Jan we have gone outside out LA for a link and its like pulling teeth. Had the same as you one discussion open for weeks with nothing happening so I asked my SW to chase and they had chosen another family (Which is Fine) but as you can only have a limited amount of discussions or interests open at one time its annoying that it gets kept open for longer than it should and it stops you putting interest in on a another child.


Sometimes to get what you want you have to take the longest road however you end up with the brightest star.

toujours March 12, 2021 16:22

We have just progressed a bit further in our search and whilst it may not go anywhere, it has helped me to realise why it is you dont hear for weeks/months on linkmaker.

  1. I think because of all the delays a lot more prospective adopters are dependent on linkmaker - that is certainly the case for us as we are with a voluntary organisation and hardly any children are being proposed to us. As a result when a chid appears, there is often a lot of interest shown (more than social workers can manage I imagine)

2. This scenario has just happened to us and came via our agency. Sometimes a SW will have two families shortisted but will have a preference so they will look at that one first and that family will have the opportunity to have several meetings in order to establish if they want to proceed and I can see now, that that could take a couple of months if it involves assessments or arranging meetings with outside agencies such as schools.Meanwhile the second family is just expected to wait. I like to think the other family has been told this is happening but who knows.

It could be that they have three shortlisted, but there are another 5 on linkmaker that they would also consider so they keep them on hold just in case and share documents which seems really unfair as this information is meant to be confidential.. I agree they should just be transparent and say, We like your profile, but we have initially shortlisted 3 shortlisted parents and if these do not work out we will be in contact again. That way you know where you stand. ITs like they want to keep you on standby.

Other situations could of course be a change of social worker or sickness.

In one situation, a social worker said they really like us just before Christmas and we exchanged documents. We took the trouble to read the PAR and got quite excited then had to wait a further 3 weeks (post Chirstmas) for them to respond despite regular chasing, to eventually say we had not been shortlisted!

It's such a lottery.

Melbourne March 15, 2021 17:14

Hi Sherman,

Like Toujours says, it's such a lottery. We're also with a VA and mainly use Link Maker. I feel like a lot of the profiles on LM have been on a long time and that the SWs are looking into families for their children but then don't update the profile or take it off. So when you go to express interest and looking for a response, they either take ages to come back or say that they're already looking at other families. We tend to just show interest in new profiles that get added. Mostly we've found that we have had responses pretty quick but we have had a few where they just haven't replied and then LM opens up the discussion automatically after 2 weeks. We have also closed a discussion ourselves after our SW chased a few times and heard nothing. Good luck with your family finding.

Edited 15/03/2021

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