Looking for some advise. My daughter is due to go on her Year 6 residential school trip next month (4-days, 4-nights). She really wants to go but is equally terrified of the experience. The main issue seems to be sleeping arrangements and being away from her room (her safe place in the house). She's completely overwhelmed and has started hiding away in her little "survival" bubble again (short-tempered, defensive & controlling). Although the experience will be hugely challenging for her, we all believe that she can do this and come away with some good memories and a sense of achievement (she's quite the survivor!). The school and I are keen to have several contingency plans in place in case things get too much. Would love to hear from others who have been through this (good and bad) so that we can be as prepared as possible. Many thanks!
Residential trip with school
Our DS was apprehensive but decided he wanted to go when friends were going. One of our concerns was the room arrangements but in the end there were less in his room.
He enjoyed the adventurous parts but found the times in between where not structured hard. He does find it hard to ask for things and said he missed a drink one mealtime because of this. So plenty of information for school helpful. He was in a group where others had extra needs.
When he arrived back he seemed very overwhelmed and took a while to get over the experience. At first he was not sure he would ever do it again. Then at secondary he said he would like to go again. Unfortunately however lockdown cancelled it.
It sounds like her school have some understanding she may find it difficult. Our DS finds it difficult to communicate his needs and school did not understand him well.
We also had a challenging run up to the holiday. As parents we found this challenging as well as the time away as the daily reports did not mention him for several days.
Hope this might help with your preparation. I can say the challenge was beneficial in the end for him.
I was quite doubtful if one of my daughters would be able to make it, because she suffered from separation anxiety at times and often had nightmares. I went on the website with her several times to show her what the bedrooms and the whole camp looked like, so she could get used to the thought. We talked about what problems might come up (feeling homesick, friendship issues, dark bedroom etc.) and good ways of handling them. We also had a plan B which would have consisted of me and her staying in a hotel nearby and I would have dropped her off in the morning and picked her up in the evenings. The school was on board with that and it helped my daughter to know she had that option. The school also did a lot of preparation with the children and when the time came, we knew she was ready. In the morning she got very scared and did not want to go, but her favourite teacher went on the trip and that helped to give her a sense of safety.
Both my daughters loved the experience and handled it better than some other children in their class. For instance, some children overate to the extend of being sick. Food has been a longterm issue for one of my daughters, so she knew to watch out for that and stopped in time. We were all very proud.
We have just been through this. We opted to stay in a hotel very close to the school trip site for the 3 nights.
Potentially we could have just been nearby for a quick reassuring visit but the reality was that as the trip grew nearer he was more and more anxious so we upped our input.
We drove down as a family rather than him be on the school transport as we all agreed that would over stimulate him before he even arrived.
We then picked him up at 'bedtime' and brought him to our hotel for a night in a family room, returning him to the site before breakfast each morning. He has had a fantastic time and managed all the activities during the day, knowing he would see us and have us for security and regulation over night.
School were very supportive (they fully understand his needs) and all the other children accepted the arrangement without question. You may only need a middle ground option between our solution and complete independence...
Things we have done for family holidays which have helped...
- taking own (used, so familiar smell) pillowcase to put on
- an envelope to open each morning (or maybe evening if away from you) with either a photo of for example the sofa, labelled, 'looking forward to watching a film with you here again soon' or a note saying, 'Grandad says can you find him a feather today to take home and show him'.
- old fashioned handkerchief with familiar homely smell (or perfume) on to be kept in a pocket where others can't see it but the child knows it's there
- look at website, google pictures on the web of the site
- make a plan for an evening routine (or whatever part of the day is likely to be most stressful)
- put post it note messages for them to find in socks etc (can just be jokes - anything to help them realise you are thinking of them)
- a pre prepared 'journal ' to take with them, 'On Monday, while Mummy was visiting Granny I ..... On Friday, while Daddy did the shopping ready to cook me fish fingers for my tea, I ...' (it can help them to stay connected if they know what you will be doing on each particular day and gives them a focus for something to do in those awful non planned 'down times')
- perhaps also plan with the staff a code word or an object that can be given to them by the child if they are feeling wobbly. Handing over, for example, a key would seem normal to any other child watching but could be a message to the teacher that they are struggling - without having to verbalise it.
I hope something there helps.
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